MGM - More Gymnasia Musings.....

Dear Diary,

Man, I can't take anymore of these motherfricking aches and pains. Everytime I move, a little bit piece of my upper body dies inside..... FOREVER. Although have startled myself by actually going to the gym 3 days on the trot, as opposed to trying it once and giving the hell up. I'm aware that I sound like one of those annoying people who go on about the gym all the time, but frankly...... I AM. Well, what else can I tell you about? I'm still broke, still single, and today I made tea! Not that interesting really, eh? (For those actually interested, tea was Rosemary and Garlic chicken wraps, with weight-watcher chips and rocket salad. Fine-ass, if I do say so)

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE GYM:

I love music. I listen to it non-stop. But having an EXCUSE, and being in a place where EVERYONE does it - not to mention using it as a MOTIVATOR..... well, it's pretty sweet. It's like being in a silent disco! Only painful. But I digress.....

The endorphins. I never experienced or believed in them before, and now they've come into my life. Now if Orgasms could be next on the "Sent" list, I will be a happy bunny.

The fact that for these 28 days, I am walking in and using their health-making equipment FREE. FREE!! And there is NOTHING they can do about it!

Window-shopping the Fittie McVitties like there's no tomorrow.

Knowing that I'm not the only person there who needs to get a little weight off and goes slightly slower than other people. Makes you feel less intimidated.

Everyone staring at my chest (although, in retrospect, maybe my geeky "I Facebooked your Mum" t-shirt was to blame for that)

The smell of Listerine. YES.

The overwhelming feeling of joyous achievement when I actually use some equipment, not only properly, but at a quite good speed, and more often than not reach the optimum heart-rate for a serious Fat Burn.

Those occasional moments where I get so lost in thinking/counting/staring aimlessly round the room/window shopping/music listening, that I forget how much pain I'm in, and suddenly realise that my heart rate has reached it's target and I've burnt off more calories than I thought. Sweet.

The smell of fresh sweat/pharemones in the air. No wonder so many people pick up/get laid at the gym. It's so incredibly raw and ..... I don't know, PRIMAL. Yikes. Breathe.......

Every time I discover a piece of equipment I've not used yet, that works out a part of my body I've not bothered to work out yet. Stomach and arse firming? Don't mind if I do.

Having to shower every day. I always feel good after a shower, no matter WHAT. Why have I not done this before?


THINGS I HATE ABOUT THE GYM:

The sad fact that once this month's up, I can no longer afford to go again.

The background music/videos. I love Cry for You, but damn, change the record once in a while, PLEASE!

Having to stop and catch my breath/soothe my aching muscles whilst everyone around me ploughes on for 25 minutes straight.

Constantly sencond-guessing whether the men are actually as fit in real life, or only in gym-context.

My exercise face. Possibly the scariest thing anyone has ever seen. Not to mention I end up COMPLETELY red (apart from the area around my mouth, which stays curiously white) with mad hair, while everyone else looks calm, composed, and normal.

Having to hold my stomach in around the lads. Look, don't question it, it's just something I do. And no, I'm not proud.

Doing any exercise that involves running, walking, or climbing (whatever verb the pedometer makes you do) - the day after I've shaved. Take my advice, DON'T DO IT, people. We are talking unbe-fucking-LIEVABLE discomfort.

Being the only girl every time who wanders into the weight-lifting area. And getting paranoid wondering if the men think I'm weird, a lesbian, trying to impress, or all three. Well, my arms are just alarmingly bad, they need toning..... what can you do?

I sometimes forget to breathe properly and end up half-gasping out of my nose.

The disturbing sweat patches. And no, I'm not talking about the normal ones...... (*shudder*) I'm constantly terrified that someone will jump into the seat of a machine I've just vacated and look at me with DISGUST.

The constant fearful thoughts of "What if this doesn't actually do ANYTHING? Maybe none of it works after all.....?" whirling round my head.

The pain. I was led to believe that exercise gets easier everytime you go back to it. BULL. SHIT. It's been three days, it gets harder everytime and my body from the boobs up is still aching like a mother. And it won't go away with more exercise. Grrrrrrrrrr..........

Wrong underwear - Made this mistake yesterday and wore a gorgeous new underwear set (Christmas present). Well, all it provoked was a black lace on sweat scenario (not quite as sexy as you would be led to believe) madly bouncing boobs and extreme red marks on my shoulders. Girl boxers and gym bra it is, then. Except I don't own a gym bra (*frantically searches online*)

Having to wash my sweaty hair ever day. It gets kind of cloying.


Hmmm. Well, anyway. I'll be going tomorrow, sucker for punishment that I am. Not to mention I want to squeeze every last 28-day DROP out of this Mirror Deal.
Work tonight was nothing special. Was in agony everytime I reached for a glass - which are ALWAYS kept on the top shelf. Fun. Oh, but had some good news! Apparently the Landlady at Marie's pub has "taken a shine to me" (why? Cos I get ridiculously pissed and sleep with 40% of the punters??) - which doesn't happen with her too often, I was told. So, I got Marie to beg - I mean, ask - if there's any jobs going up there, to which she (Landlady) apparently replied; "Sounds good!" So I'm going in tomorrow to talk to her about it.

This is FANTASTIC!!! I may have another job! With more hours! I can afford the gym and be a proper person with money for a change! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: achey but chuffed
Current Music: "I Drive Alone" - Esthero