Doles, doctors and dirty daughters

Dear Diary,

WEDNESDAY:

Was shit. Had a shift at the pub. It was fairly nondescript - we had a big darts match on, so were busier than usual. Nothing I couldn't handle (*proudly adjusts collar*)

THURSDAY:

Was cool. Full of regrets about not being able to celebrate my English patriotism, or being able to afford going BACK to Liverpool (for an acquaintance's birthday night out) - I was soon cheered up by my BSL Class. Although, frankly, I could have easily missed half of it - which was finger-spelling the alphabet. I learnt that in BROWNIES, so whilst I felt very chuffed with people commenting on the speed of my fingers (couldn't resist!), it was madly frustrating. At least if the Deaf Punters come in on Wednesday, I can tell them all my family's names, and their ages, and can count to 20. Fun times!

Had a doctor's appointment to talk about cures for my chronic hayfever - I asked for a remedy you wouldn't give to humans. I need the stuff horse tranquilisers are made of. He obliged. Then I bit the bullet and asked for an STD test. I've had one before (not sure I mentioned it) but that was just for the weak, easily dispensible STD's - I need reassurance that I don't have one of those symptomless buggers you read about, nesting in there for years, before the person dies horrifically. So, we shall see! (Christ knows why I'm being so light-hearted)

Got a call from the rugby club - offering an emergency shift. I might as well not have bothered. I was out again in 2 hours.

FRIDAY

Up at t'crack of dawn to go work at Mum's shop, which is always fun. Yes, tons of hard work, but always end up laughing my arse off with the girls my age - not to mention the free breakfast you get on your break. Sweet!

BAD MOMENT - Telling Mum I had a JobCentre meeting to declare the work I did today - which APPARENTLY, I shouldn't have done, as it means I'll get my benefits scrapped this week. Despite my pleas about being honest, and how lying to the government technically constitutes FRAUD, I was told in no uncertain terms that I was a numpty. And that apparently, there certain things you should maybe keep to yourself, so as to continue getting money. Buggeration. Felt very thick all day, as I mercilessly got piss-taken. Scuse the hell out of me for being brought up an honest truth-telling girl. Nontheless:

I AM SUCH A FRIGGING IDIOT!!! DEFINTATELY one of those occasions I need to keep my mouth shut on, methinks.

SCARY MOMENT - After a hilarious natter with Carla (which, as always, verged into the risque'), Mum came round the corner to hear us all laughing, and the gist of the conversation. Raising her eyebrows, she came out with the dread sentence:

"D'you know, Carla, I'm sure Kat's just been fibbing all along, and all this squeamish innocence she puts on is just a front to cover up how rude and dirty-minded she REALLY is!"

All together now:
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT !!!!!!!

How did she KNOW??! Or maybe she doesn't. Let's pray she never discovers the truth..... Maybe she's been reading this blog? But that's IMPOSSIBLE!! I've taken EVERY step to ensure it can't be read from the home computer. Not that she's the most tech-savvy woman in the world, anyway. She can't tell the computer's arse from her elbow.

COMING SOON: Kat brings her policewoman uniform out of retirement, loses patience with a friend, and inadvertantly becomes involved in a pub brawl

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Current Mood: cosy
Current Music: "My Generation" - The Who