Death of Festive Cheer

Dear Diary:

Gawd, what a mad few days. Yesterday of course, was my hee-ouge shopping trip with Alice, who it was AMAZING to see! Have to say, it was kind of hilarious when almost every conversation went along the lines of:

ME: "Oh, so did I tell you about Lee?!"
ALICE: "Oh yeah, your boss from the L*********, I read it on your blog!"
ME: "Cool! OK, so today I'm looking for the perfect Christmas dress - I have one particular one in mind...."
ALICE: "Oh yeah, the black one with the lace sleeves, saw it on your blog!"
ME: "Uh.....huh...... So guess what happened at the party on Sat....."
ALICE: "Blog."
ME: "Hmm."

Was quite a successul trip by all accounts - I bought:

A hot pink silky bra
Mum's Xmas gift
Dad's Xmas gift
Shaun's Xmas gift
A 3-string waist-length purple necklace
A purple flower ring (a spiky bastard that catches on EVERYTHING)
A big fat-ass pair of flannelette PJ's with sheep on them
A purple beret
Tea (Pizza Hut. Yeah, bitch!!)

Not so successful was the hunt for the Perfect Dress. Naturally, the Miss Selfridge one fitted, but made me look like a granny in a wrinkly, baggy dress going to a funeral. Probably her own, it looked that bad. Looked at almost every single black dress we walked past, to no avail. Anyway........ Got home, only to be called out again at half 9 by Annie to go to a boring-as-fuck Pub Quiz. Boring-as-fuck because the winner doesn't win anything, and there's no element of competition as everyone in the room helps each other out. What the HELL is the point in that??! Plus, hanging out with Annie and her parents is annoying as all hell - as Annie constantly snaps at her Dad all the time and her Dad makes jokes so bad that no-one even laughs. There is literally just an embarrassed silence before everyone carries on talking. He makes Bruce Forsyth look like Lee Evans. Plus, he heckles the shit outta the Quizmaster all the way through, while everyone glares at him with embarrassed contempt. Grrr..... I don't think I ever sprint quite like I do when my taxi arrives at the end of the night. I literally jumped in the back shouting; "Drive, drive, DRIVE!!!"

Hmmmm.... Anyway. Went shopping again today - only this time it was marred with Mum's extreme 1-week-till-Christmas annoyance, stress and anger, which is NEVER a pleasant sight. It was her day off, which meant she was in Christmas overdrive - and while I appreciate all her hard work etc.... would it kill her to do things with at least a smile every now and then? Was actually a relief to get out the house away from her shrill shrieking. Naturally, by then, I couldn't get into the spirit of Christmas, and just spent all day in town, gazing at the fairy lights, buying gifts, breathing in as I went past the German Market, but simply felt like I was going through the motions. Damn Christmas, sometimes.

TODAY I BOUGHT:

Auntie's Xmas Gift
Dad's other Xmas Gift
Grandma's Xmas Gifts
Heat
A black umbrella with cherries on it
A teeny blue glass octopus and a bright red heart-shaped stone (I love the German Market)
Hot pink silky knickers
My Party Dress (Hallelujah!!)

Yes, for I finally have the PERFECT going-out dress. Perfect because it follows almost every aspect of my "Ideal" frock. It's purple, has a black elasticated belt that PROPER takes me in, is short enough to be indecent but coupled with black leggings and shoes looks fantastically 80's. As do the massive chunky stacked bangles and waist-length necklaces. I do look a little like a backing dancer in an 80's video - but what is wrong with that, I ask you? NOTHING!! It is, in fact, a look I have been aspiring to for quite some time. Oh, and did I mention the 2 best parts of the dress?

1) The whole combination makes me look about a stone slimmer - AND MUM ADMITTED THIS.
2) The chest. Yes - this dress is low-cut, but just as you're trying to decide whether it verges on the right side of indecent - my boobs answer the question for you. The tightness of the top half (brought on by the belt-winching) causes my boobs to appear like they're bursting to get out, as if they've been poured in and are overflowing. And I'd like to see a court in all the land that could deem this a bad thing.

We'd better be having a Staff Christmas party now - if Lee doesn't see me in this dress, I will consider my life wasted.
Spent the evening wrapping Christmas presents and watching DVD's. Set up the heart stone next to my bed with the little octopus perched on top of it - my theory is that the octopus (as my bedside guardian) with reach out and bring Love to me with all eight arms - thereby increasing my chances. Well, it's just a thought, but dammit, that's all I have!
Also left Lee a message at the L********** asking him what time my shift is tomorrow (as I've lost my timesheet) with "Whole Lotta Love" playing in the background. Subliminal messaging, anyone......?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: "Dangerous" - Michael Jackson