Dear Diary,
Oh my god. Went shopping today with Mum, Shaun and his mates who tagged along, in a desperate attempt to hoist ourselves out of this festive lethargy. And when I say that, I mean we have not done a Big Shop for literally WEEKS!! Ah, Mum's grand tradition of stocking up on food months in advance.......
So we went to the Trafford Centre, Shaun for shoes, Mum to spend her Christmas vouchers, and me to simply have a big fat-ass browse and find pointless things to spend my ever-dwindling money on. And boy, did I. Only this time, I don't regret it in the slightest. Because, in Waterstones, I found (after a quick Phone/Internet-search for the author's surname to avoid asking the staff) and bought "He's just not that into you" (which made being served by the hottest guy in the store FAIRLY humiliating) The Verdict?
Put simply:
This may actually be the most fantastic book I have ever bought...... IN MY LIFE.
I'm not even kidding. 3 hours and 2 Millie Cookies (purchased illicitly whilst Mum was in the loo) later, I was lying on my bed in a complete state of shock. That book is fucking AMAZING!!! It is pure gold in paper form. It is the kind of book that comes along once every few years or so that makes me want to spend the rest of my life promoting it to others. All I want to know is why in the blind steaming fucking hellfire I did NOT have this book 3 years ago. It would have solved EVERYTHING!!
For those who don't know, the book looks at every single excuse women make up for why a guy hasn't called/asked out/met/shagged/married her yet - and then answers every single one with those immortal 6 words. The whole thing could be summarised with the sentence: If a guy really likes you, he will bloody well make sure you know it, get off his arse, and DO something about it. But even knowing that didn't make me want to stop reading. Plus, with every chapter, Greg (the author) makes you feel like an absolute FOX, an utterly brilliant sparkling human being who any man would be privilidged to go out with. It's just so wonderful.
And before I could even get all up in arms about some smug married guy telling us that "being single and waiting is better than settling for a shite relationship" when he doesn't have to worry about that kind of thing - along comes the co-author, Liz. Who tells it exactly like it is, takes your simmering questions, and asks them along with you. "Wouldn't settling for an average relationship be better than sleeping alone every night for the time being?" "I want to avoid bone-crushing loneliness, can't I just go out with anyone whilst waiting for the real deal?" "Yes, you can sit there preaching, but at the end of the day, how do YOU know when you're not the one waking up alone every morning?" She takes your resentment at Greg, adds to it herself, constantly questions him (in a still-funny way) and picks up on the female side of things. And it is BRILLIANT.
You come away from the book feeling so much better about yourself as a person. You feel that YOU are simply a fucking outstanding person, and that the guys should be working to get your attention, not the other way round. I suddenly realised several things:
1) Aaron (first and last relationship) was just not that into me. It hurts like hell to say that now, but if I'd had this book last year, I'd have found out then, and realised it straight away. It was always ME going round to his house to see HIM, very rarely the other way round. It was always ME doing the texting and the calling first. It was always ME who made the effort to do lots of fun and different things in the bedroom. It was ME who cooked for him - TWICE. Oh yes, he was happy to go along for the ride, what man is going to say no to food, role-play and a convinient girlfriend who pops up and doesn't mind watching him play on the Playstation for hours with his flatmates? Now, I'm not saying I didn't enjoy our 3 months together, but damn, it hurts to realise how stupid I was about it all.
(Have to say, if I'd had the book back then, maybe I'd have made a more dignified exit than sobbing hysterically, attempting to bargain with him, and eventually smacking him round the face in our Uni building the last time I saw him........)
2) No I SHOULDN'T have gone out with the Little Dickhead from the pub, just because he was the first person to ask me out after a 6-month hiatus in the romance department. I deserved better, I should have waited for better, and now have to endure constant piss-taking when the punters bring it up.
3) Oli is just not that into me. How do I know this? Because, after several texting sessions, he has simply stopped. Being too busy is NOT an excuse, who the hell DOESN'T have 30 seconds in a day made up of 24 hours to send a brief frigging TEXT??! I will accept that excuse from an artist who has to rush from interview, to GMTV performance, to live tour etc.... or The Queen. That's about it.
Having realised this, corny as it sounds, I felt suddenly more free. No more waiting on tenterhooks for him to text. I had a jolly big pampering session before work, did all my hair and make-up, and went into work at the pub feeling fan-fucking-tastic. And I did not wait or look for him to walk in ALL NIGHT. And if I see him again, and he apologises, I will simply accept it, tell him I know the truth, and if he wants to ask me out again - it's now TOO LATE. Because I am not going to be the kind of woman who waits around for a man to "choose her" anymore. Fuck. THAT!
My god, I think I've had an epiphany.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: "Burning down the house" - Tom Jones
lol can i borrow it??
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