Update - Friday

Dear Diary,

Call me Ms. Inactive but again - barely anything happened. It really is very boring doing nothing. But then again it's so much effort to actually go DO things. I know, I make as much sense as a Shakesphere play.

We simply spent all day watching Shaun pack and prepare (and when I say that, I mean "hang around with his mates playing on the Playstation and eating take-away") for his aforementioned 6-months-around-the-world trip. Decided not to go to sleep as I knew it would be pointless - I get home from work at 1am on Fridays, and we had to leave for the airport at 4, might as well stay up. Hell, I did it countless times at uni - especially when I had work due in the next day (*cough*).

Work was fairly nondescript - apart from a rather sticky moment when one of my favourite punters turned nasty. Let's call him Pat. Pat comes in ALL the time, I have a Love-Hate thing with him - sometimes I love him cos he's genuinely funny and actually chats to me, and sometimes, after the 98th request to come clean his flat in a maid's outfit for £20 an hour (which he seems to believe is a reasonable request), I hate the arse off him. Anyway, we're chatting away, it's quite late, he's moved from Bitter to Vodka and telling me about his umpteenth holiday to Thailand. He goes there absolutely LOADS, no doubt feasting on £5 a pop hookers, where he is at least guaranteed to get laid. Ack..... IMAGES!!! Moving on..... We're talking about Bacon and Cabbage (which is apparently a national dish in Ireland), and end up having this exchange:

PAT: "You've NEVER HAD BACON AND CABBAGE??!"
KAT: "Well, not together, no. I don't even like cabbage."
PAT: "YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE CABBAGE????!"
KAT: "Well, no!"
TOM: "Euurgh, I see her point, it sounds disgusting...."
PAT: "You fucking WHAT??! I'm having it when I get home, it's better than sex!!"
KAT: (*quick as a flash*) "Well, you must've had some pretty bad shags in your time."

(*Dead Silence before Tom chokes on his pint laughing and has to run out)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! Oh my god, I still can't believe I came out with that!! This is me, who never EVER managed to master the fine art of comebacks, and never says stuff like that to people's faces. But DAMN it felt goooooooooood...... Pat just glared at me before following Tom into the toilet. I stood there going bright red with both embarrassment and joy at being praised by Tara and co. for such a quick reply. Pat eventually came out and looked me dead in the eye:

PAT: "We've had a talk, and after hearing you say that, I've decided you are a dickhead."
KAT: "And I've decided you are a fuckwit. Swings and roundabouts, really!"

Now, where else would you get away with that? God, I love pubs. Generations of pissheads getting the shit kicked out of them by feisty barmaids. This is BRILLIANT!! Why haven't I done this before?!

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