Bad times.....

Dear Diary,

Today finds me in a bit of a sorry state. Woke up yesterday in a completely depressed and lethargic mood - due to the date. I'll just say, exactly one year ago, something happened to me that rhymes with "getting thumped" - and the fact that he's still with that skinny dwarf slag of Satan hurt even more. So I decided to do the adult thing, and proceeded to get completely, inordinately PISSED. Which I wouldn't normally be ashamed about, except I did it on my own, and I started at 3:30 in the afternoon. Yikes.
Still, as Jez from "Peep Show" once said - "Drinking alone, what's the big deal? Why is it necessarily a bad thing? If you drink a bottle of vodka and there's a bloke sitting next to you, does that somehow make it alright?"

So after half an hour alternating between giggling hysterically and nearly being sick at "Jamie Saves our Bacon", I decided to do something about my chronic unemployment. So I went down to the job centre, which, in retrospect, probably wasn't a good idea with 3 double vodka and oranges inside myself. Didn't matter anyway, the man at the "Help" desk was about as useful as a chastity belt on Russell Brand. Stormed out of the JobCentre with about 8000 leaflets, fuming, stared at by all the chavs in trakkies. I'm not even generalising, they really all were wearing trakkies.
Didn't feel like going home, so headed off to the Pub. Thank God for always knowing at least ONE person in there. Liz was naturally very surprised to see me, as were the Landlady and Landlord. Well, busman's holiday and all. I proceeded to get ridiculously drunk, telling everyone about Aaron and the JobCentre, all the while realising I sounded like one of those pissed women who always come in and share their life stories...... Eek.

Had a few games of Pool with a cute lad who gave me his number and arranged to meet me later. Bounced home for some tea, which I was supposed to be cooking, oops. Surprisingly, Mum wasn't even mad, she just sat and snickered at me as I wolfed down my tea and apparently "slurred" everything I said (which I still deny). Decided to go for a lie-down, which was quite worrying, as I don't normally crash out that fast whilst drinking. Had a little sleep and eventually went back down to the Pub at half 9 - despite Dad's reaction "Are you serious? You're going back OUT?? Is that really a good idea?" Hehe.

Got back to the pub. Naturally, he didn't show up, but I buried the hatchet with Pat, thank goodness, and faced off against the Landlady in a game of Pool. And when I say "face-offed" I mean, "she absolutely bitch-whipped me." Staggered home with a Seafood pizza, listening to "The Promise" on repeat, and trying not to think about Aaron. Sat up and watched "Thir13en Ghosts," munching away, making all kinds of resolutions in my head.

Then Kyle came online. Had a fun ten minutes catching up and arranging to meet, before he brought up bumping into Zara and co. at a bar - and I quote: "You really shot her to shit, hey?" Eeep. She's clearly still furious at me (why not Gary as well?? It was just as much his fault!) and still billing me for the sink. Well fair do's, but she said that 4 months ago, why hasn't she done it yet? Anyway. I've written a long letter and will be posting it as soon as I can affrd packaging on her birthday present, which I'm sending with it, since I wasn't invited to her shindig. Went to bed and had a little cry, thinking all about what a shit friend (and girlfriend, clearly) I've been. Then had a repeat episode of when I was so wasted I just tossed and turned for hours, without sleeping. So that was fun. Even fetching a glass of water felt trippy and life-threatening-ly treatcherous.

Woke up at 7am after about 35 minutes of sleep, and spent all day on the sofa, under my duvet with the curtains drawn, watching "Family Guy." Well, apart from 2 hours when I fell asleep, and a trip out to Subway. Which, for the first time ever, FAILED me as a hangover cure. What the hell has gone WRONG with the world???!
Aaaaaaaanyway. Mum came home, laughing at my antics last night and taking the piss. I cooked tea (fish and chips. Masterful, eh?) and had a shower, which made me feel less like a piss-stained dishcloth. Got work in a bit actually, so will have to dash.

Current Mood: low, but really clean
Current Music: "Love Rollercoaster" - The Chillies