And yet again......

Dear Diary,

I am steaming. Steaming like a demon. This is becoming INFURIATING. I'm guessing you can guess what has happened, YET A-BLOODY-GAIN??! Yes, dear hearts, you are right. David has cancelled tomorrow. Because he's still sick. Now, I run the risk of sounding like a Class-A bitch, but I might as well say it anyway........

OH

FOR

FUCK'S

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I know illness, especially flu, can be nasty and feel horrible and life-threatening, etc.... and I'm selfish to put thoughts of my fun in front of someone else's health. But PLEASE, I once went on an incredibly late night out, dosed up to the eyeballs on paracetemol, ProPlus and Vicks. Yes, I felt like shit the next day, but I STILL MADE THE EFFORT. Grrrr...... Double grrr. Triple grrr with a raspberry on top with a side salad and a big slab of goats cheese. This sucks donkey balls.

The rest of the day was fine, anyway. Shaun finally, FINALLY got in touch, and we had a ball. Mainly because he was drunk off his tiny tits, swaying and giggling at everything I said, putting the microphone inside his mouth and wearing his hat stretched so far over his face he looked like a SMURF. One MAY ask how he could afford fermented alcohol, when, according to reason, he is broke. But apparently someone else bought it. Hmmmm..... Anyway, we nattered on, steering well clear of any subjects that weren't lighthearted or amusing. It was so good to see him, I literally couldn't stop beaming for an hour after he left.

The bad news is, my frigging eye infection's come back. I get it every summer as a result of my raging and chronic hayfever, and it seems to have come early this year, the twat. My eye (usually just one) swells up like a big pinky purple sausage on my eyelid and I can't leave the house until I've had about 6 showers (the steam works, somehow), placed every cold item in the house on my eye and covered it with enough make-up to disguise it, once the swelling's decreased. Which made for a very alarming moment today, when, in sheer panic about it still being swollen for tomorrow, I sat on the sofa, clutching an ice cold Heineken to my right eye. Except I wanted to watch a special on "Angels and Demons," so, to enable better vision, I held my glasses up, to see out of the other side.

And that is how, this afternoon, a window cleaner took up position outside my lounge, to see me, in my pyjamas, sat on the sofa holding a pair of folded glasses up to my left eye and a beer onto my right. I tried to give him a reassuring; "Hello, I am neither an alcoholic nor a mental!" look and a cheery grin. I don't think it worked.

Work was nothing to write home about. I've pissed off another customer and got an extra shift on Monday! Sweet.

Got home and spoke to "Him" online again. He seems genuinely sorry and frustrated that he can't come over after all..... My resistance weakened slightly, I'm ashamed to say. The good news is he seemed genuinely afraid that he'd pissed me off with all these cancellations and that I'd gone off the idea. I, quite aloofly, let him think that. I also said I'd only given him 3 chances to let me down. Twice, it's occurred - should the third one happen, THEN I'm done with the idea. And what felt fantastic was the fact that I actually meant it. If he lets me down a third time and his excuse is ANYTHING other than: "I've been in a fire" or "I've got AIDS," then he's finished. I'm not so desperate that I'll hang around waiting for him to visit and say "Yes" everytime, no matter how often he's fucked me about. I know the point of being a fuck-buddy is casual sex, but IT'S STILL PRE-ARRANGED. To me, that's as rude as not turning up for an appointment, or to meet your mates. It may not be THAT important or all-encompassing. But it's still polite. Fuck it. Fuck HIM. I'LL SHOW HIM!!!! (*shakes fists vengefully*)

I so sound like a psycho now. Oh well, I'm mad. Guess I'll have to find something to do tomorrow night. Oh right, Deaf class. Hmm! Joe is in Deaf Class...... and also texted me earlier today asking if I wanted to go for a drink afterwards, tomorrow! Hmmm..... I did say I'd have to wait and see, as I possibly had a prior engagement. Guess "Marie can't come out" after all!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: angry
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