Gobsmacked

Dear Diary,

I don't believe it. I actually don't frigging believe it. What the HELL is the universe PLAYING at???!! Only an extremely cruel and taunting God would do this to me. After years of nothing, a week of 2 men I really like getting in touch, and the accquisition of a long awaited (and excellent in bed) fuck buddy - what does the universe send me? Joe from my Deaf Class.

Who's he? I hear you ask. And as well you might.....

So, I was at my BSL course, doing my thang. I'm really enjoying it, the whole thing is surprisingly easier than I thought it would be. Anyway, Joe is the only lad in our class (christ knows where the other one disappeared to) and seemingly quite embarrassed about it - so last week when put in a group exercise with him, I chatted a lot to try and put him at ease. So naturally, we became friends.
THIS week, after class, as I was walking along the road exclaiming how I didn't want to go home, he asked if I wanted to go for a drink! So we did, in a fantastic Irish bar.

In a nutshell, we chatted our way through our pints (which he bought!), discussing sign language, inner childs, taste in music (wellll...... "Billie Jean" had just come on.....) and his time in Czechoslovakia teaching English. Pretty impressive, eh? Anyway, afterwards he gave me a lift home, and outside my house, asked if he could "be really cheeky and get your phone number?"

OK - WHAT THE HELL??! I mean, yes, it's lovely to have a guy ask for your number and he's a nice lad who I get on with, but DAAAAAAAAAAAAYMN!!! What the fricking frack?? I get two offers from two crushes in two weeks, and then immediately have a nice lad want my number??! What the steaming hellfire is GOING ON??! Why couldn't this have all been spread out earlier in my life, instead of me getting sweet bollock-all one minute, and 3 in 2 weeks the next??

I mean, WHAT??! Oh, I give up.

And what the HELL am I supposed to do now? He hinted at us going for a "proper" drink sometime - I can't have a fuck buddy if I'm going out with Joe! I mean, yeah, it's only a date, it doesn't necessarily mean anything with happen, but still! It wouldn't feel...... ethical, somehow. Still, when was the last time I was ethical?
Oh, I don't know. I'll just have to see what happens and hope everything works out somehow. It really would be a massive smack across the face from Karma if, just as I'm getting what I want (ie: to have regular David-sex when I never thought I would again), I somehow acquire a boyfriend. Which I also want. Oh fucksticks, this is a NIGHTMARE.

Oh, and the info: He's 25, looks like a thinner, ginger version of Gary (what IS it with me and gingers??) has a good - but occasionally strange - sense of humour, works in Human Resources, lived in Czechoslovakia for a few years and has been engaged. Why is EVERYONE getting engaged so young these days? What's the rush? Am I the only one who wants to enjoy being young for a while before doing something so adult? Mind you, it's not like anyone has asked! But still...... he seems alright with it - ie: doesn't go on about it like David.

Jesus, am I gonna spend my life comparing everyone to him? Grrr.... I'm terrible when infatuated.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: baffled
Current Music: "Kissed by a Rose" - Seal