New beginnings

Dear Diary,

Following on from yesterdays angry tirades, I went to Sign Language class filled with a new feeling - excitement. This time, I was determined to show Joe how keen I was (although, not to the point of scariness, obviously). Having said that, the aloof, distracted thing I was (unintentionally) doing before seems to have worked so far, maybe I should just continue to roll with that......!

When I got to class the weirdest thing happened - Joe texted me. While I was sat 4 seats away from him! Keen, much? Or just a strange sense of humour, maybe.... Trouble is, it made me giggle inanely to myself, and do that stupid thing where you grin like a monkey and can't stop yourself, no matter how silly you look. So I texted back, he replied, and so it went on. Eeeeeeeek! This is weird.... and exciting. I'm not making much sense, I know.

I feel a little confused about the whole thing, to be honest. I think about him a lot, and look forward to seeing him each week. I like But I never get that leap in my stomach when I see him, I never get crazy butterflies or that sizzling "chemistry" feeling. Or am I expecting too much? Maybe this is what it's supposed to be like - maybe this is how relationships start normally, and I'm expecting too much. Or maybe Aaron and David and all those nameless lads have jaded my illusions of romance, and I'm settling for something less than fireworks. Hmmm..... I'll never be sure of anything anymore.

Anyway, after class we went to our usual Irish bar, and passed a pleasant evening drinking. Which he bought, again. Awww. If there is one thing not quite right about this whole thing, it's that he doesn't flirt. At all. Maybe it doesn't mean anything, maybe he doesn't know how to (shit, I didn't pick it up till last year). Or maybe - shock horror - he's actually just being friendly. Maybe I'm about to make a lovely new friend and I'm so one-track minded I don't even know.

He dropped me off at home again, which was nice, apart from a slight moment where I didn't know whether to hug him (in thanks for the lift) or get out. So after a little awkward pause, I got out and went in. Dossed around online for a while before going up to bed, where I picked up my phone - and found 2 missed calls and a voicemail. From JOE!! He'd driven away 20 minutes ago, what on earth could he possibly want to talk about? Oh my god. Listen to this:

"Hi Kat, hi, sorry, um..... I was thinking - obviously I'm not driving when I'm phoning, I pulled over and everything. Um...... I came off as such a dweeb in the car just before you got out, um..... kinda thought I made it awkward for you, which I didn't..... I'm sorry bout that. Just wanted to say I had a really really nice time with you in the pub and hopefully Saturday will be a lot better than that. So..... yeah, have a nice night and tomorrow, and if you get bored during the week.... or Friday...... which is.... what's left of the week, give us a text. So yeah, have a nice night, and I'll see you Saturday. Thanks, bye!"

How adorable is that?? I just wanted to give him a cuddle - not to mention it felt pretty sweet NOT to be the flustered confused one for a change.

Today was boring - Mum went to Ireland, which means Dad and I can relax and do things we can't normally, ie: read a book whilst eating tea, go meet his mates at the pub, visit the bookies, etc.... So I'm currently curled on the sofa with a glass of wine and "Saw 4". Good times!

And so - tomorrow I have a DATE. I'm going on a date! Yes, I organised it, but I feel like a normal member of the population at last! And if anything else, I get to have a fun night out with a new friend, listening to cool bands. On a GUESTLIST.
And most importantly - it's another oppurtunity to wear the Cheryl dress!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: chilled
Current Music: "Saw 4" - not music, but you know......