Public Opinion

Dear Diary,

Well, crikey. Following my last blog, it would seem that the general reaction to my news is negative. Or at least ultra-precautionary. Which is understandable, given everything I've ever said/bitched about David. But just to clear a few things up (which I may have been a tad ambiguous about):

I would not DARE have unprotected sex - I was planning on sticking with jonnies first, doing a fuckload of research about the Pill, and then maybe CONSIDERING it. But having heard the horror stories of uncontrollable mood swings and dire warnings from friends, it really doesn't seem worth the hassle. Condoms at all times, it is. Fuck it, at least I'm maintaining one boundry. He can live with it, I'm sure. Actually, fuck that, he WILL live with it, whether he likes it or not. He's getting laid, he can shut up and grind down.

Who will pay for the hotels - he never brought it up. I would ASSUME, as a mutal agreement that we'd go halvsies, but hell, I'm unemployed, he works for a bank. Come ON!!! Right? Oh, I don't know.....

(As pointed out by Lisa) What if he is still with said fiancee, and she has no idea of his shagging around, which is why he wants to keep me in hotels away from his place? Sure, the story of avoiding flatmates' questions is plausible enough - not to mention he said "after he got his own place, we'd be OK to go there" but still..... Why would he say the latter, if he was still engaged? Oh, I don't know. Men are baffling. I feel a bit of SuperSleuthing is definately needed first.......

How do I know he would just be sleeping with me? Well, I don't. We said we'd always talk, but it seems you can't trust people. Ever. They are astonishingly good at lying, no matter how nice they are. Which is why I will ALWAYS be using condoms. ALWAYS.


I can't pretend I'm not still excited, despite the dire warnings and sounds advice. My mind is continuously racing through scenarios, ideas and daydreams. I'm jumping the gun, I know, hell, we've not even picked a date yet (he texted this morning, Saturday's a no-go, as it turns out. But he warned me it would be). But I reckon I should just take it as it comes, and see what happens. Despite appearances, I'm not as naeive as I come across, and I know if something starts going wrong, if I don't like it, or think I'm getting in over my head, I will back off STRAIGHT away. I'm not ENTIRELY ridiculous, I know the rules. And should anything go wrong - well, how else do you learn from life's mistakes?

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Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: "Cecilia" - Suggs