Kat's Landmark Day

Dear Diary,

Well, you'll be glad to know that I calmed down after my last entry, due - once more to the magical healing powers of the Joe.

Friday night was pretty fantastic, for many reasons. Straying away from the usual Friday-night routine of film and pizza, Joe suggested we went for a walk round the neighbourhood first, which was actually REALLY nice. Given what a lazy sod I am I usually avoid any kind of physical exercise, but this was pretty groovy. I'd forgotten just how lovely a nice relaxing walk on the right evening can be - it was pretty much perfect.... nice and sunny and cool, but not cold enough for a jacket. God, I sound like a frigging weather girl. Anyway, we walked through his local park, admiring the huge pond and looking at the very distant view of the Hilton, while Joe told me little snippets of his area's history.

After that we took a walk through the "posh" side of his neighbourhood, just for a peek at how the other half live. We talked about the kind of houses we both wanted to live in when we were older, and had the traditional old "what I'd do if I won the Lottery" conversation (for the record - I'd buy apartments in Manchester, Liverpool, Ireland, Abersoch and Paris, write and publish my own books, buy shitloads of clothes, DVDs and things, and pay people to hire me as a scriptwriter. And more....)

Afterwards we went for pizza, which we munched in front of "Me myself and Irene," (I know, pizza and film - but I'm a girl of simple pleasures, and so is he. Although, not a girl, obviously....) And after THAT...... I had a very new experience. I'll be frank (isn't that what blogs are for?) - I've never particularly enjoyed oral sex before. Being a fairly impatient creature, I usually can't be bothered to wait any longer than about 5 minutes before I'm like: "Get your white arse back up here and let's move things along!" (And I've read that it takes 20 on average for a woman to reach.... a certain point) But for some reason, Friday night was different. Maybe it was the long walk and all the lovely fresh air, but I just felt so much more relaxed and not bothered about timing. Consequently, not only did I have my first orgasm-induced-by-someone-else (which I'll get onto in a minute) but also my 2nd........ and my 5th.

So not only have I discovered that Joe is good at this, and I like it, but more importantly - someone other than myself and Mr. Rabbit has finally - FINALLY - given me an orgasm. And not just one, but five. To which, all I can say is:

HELL YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Do you know how LONG I've been waiting for this day!??? I finally feel like I've achieved something with my life!! And more importantly - now I FINALLY see the appeal. I feel like I could take on the world. Even better - Joe said he likes doing it, which means I can predict I'll be abusing this and getting very greedy from now on. That sounds kinda selfish and wrong, actually. But fuck it, I'm allowed to - BECAUSE I LIKE ORAL SEX!!! (I know, I know - I make NO sense at times.....) And this is why Friday 14th August is a Landmark day in the life of Kat.

Saturday - was pretty awful. First of all, I woke up to find I'd been ambushed - which I was expecting since I'd come off the delay-your-period-for-2-weeks pill, but whilst I was at someone else's HOUSE?! Ultimate nightmare. Fortunately it wasn't noticeable to Joe. Second, I was supposed to be going shopping in the morning with Auntie and Mum , so forced myself to get up and home early. Only to find that Auntie cancelled on us, so I decided the better course of action was to go upstairs and sleep in till 1 in the afternoon. In all fairness, I'd had a late night!

Woke up after a surprisingly undisturbed-by-Mum nap, feeling all groggy and painful. Had lunch and traipsed off to work for another Weekend shift. Whilst I hate that this is digging into my already unlimited time with Joe, at the same time I fucking LOVE Sam for leaving without an explanation - I get all her shifts! WOO!! Anyway, scuttled off to work at 3 for what was surely one of the worst shifts ever. I felt incredibly poorly, dropped a pint of bitter (while everyone laughed and kept telling me I'd "missed a bit" whilst mopping), and pulled a wrong lager, which I had to put to one side.

So what happened when the Landlord came down? He gave me a royal bollocking in front of everyone (including Joe, who'd come to pick me up) for "costing the pub £4" and told me I was "supposed to EARN the pub money, not cost it", and that I shouldn't be making these mistakes after all a year working there. Needless to say, I left the place feeling like a bag of shit - wailing and flailing to Joe and bitching endlessly. Ah well. We went for an Italian in town - I ate spaghetti and meatballs and discovered the best Rose' wine in the world (Pinot Grigio) and by the time we were back at his watching "Hostel," I felt miles better (well, mentally anyway).

Sunday - Woke up feeling a LOT worse - I think the pill affected me more than I thought. Rang Mum up and cried off the re-arranged shopping trip to spend all morning lying on Joe's bed, moaning dramatically, demanding Nurofen and back rubs and reading while he played on the XBox. To his credit, he didn't even tell me to shut the hell up and grow a pair, which I totally would've expected. Eventually mustered up the strength to go to town for a bit, as Joe needed some Xbox/TV cable. Cue a VERY awkward moment outside a nearby jewellers:

Joe: "Hang on, I'll just have a look at the watches...."
Me: "Mmm...... shiny necklaces and bracelets....."
Joe: "OH MY GOD!!! Look how much engagement rings are!"
Me: "Yeah, but probably worth it in the end..... How much would you say is TOO much?"
Joe: "Well, there's one there for 2 grand, I'd say that's pretty steep...."
Me: "Yeah....."
Joe: "Oh well, I'd only stick with a marriage for 25 years anyway and then I'd be off!"
Me: (*gobsmacked face*)
Joe: "I'M KIDDING! No, I'd definately be in it for the long haul."
Me: "Cool......."
(*The most awkward long silence ever observed by man*)
Joe: "So......."
Me: (*randomly singing*) "Begging.... begging yoooooou..... Put your loving hands up, baby!"

How much of a numpty am I??! I encounter an awkward silence and I SING??! Luckily, Joe started awkwardly singing at the EXACT same time, so we both were able to acknowledge the awkwardness and laugh at it.

Soon after a gamefest back at his, Joe dropped me off at home for Sunday lunch (Dad was cooking). On the plus side, he's finally starting to realise I might have a point about Mum getting to be too much - after she told me off for being late. 3 MINUTES LATE.

Me: "Right, I'd best get back in quick, I've already got done for being late"
Joe: "Late? I thought you had to be home for 3!"
Me: "I did."
Joe: (*flabbergasted*) "But..... it's only 3 minutes past.....!"
Me: "I know."
Joe: (*long silence coupled with angry facial expressions*) "Seriously..... you need to move out. I'm not even kidding. I don't know how you cope with that, do you get it every day?"
Me: "Umm...... Pretty much, yeah."
Joe: "Jesus......"

And would you believe it? Tea wasn't even set out till half past.

Had another shift at 4 - during which I was walking on eggshells so badly I practically got foot cramps, but luckily everyone was really nice and reassuring to me. Got quizzed mercilessly about Joe (why are they all so obsessed with the fact that I have a boyfriend now?! Did they think THEY had a chance?!) but worked my white arse off to prove I was a competent barmaid after all. Good times!

Today - had the potential to be utter shite. You'd look at it and think "an entire day hanging out with Mum, an enforced trip to the gym, the whole journey into town spent discussing my 'career options' etc...." But surprisingly, it was that bad. After a smackdown in the Carphone Warehouse (one of those rare occasions where I actually argued with a stranger and stood up for myself) however, I discovered that since the washing machine/mobile phone interface was MY fault, I'm not allowed a replacement handset. So essentially, I have to finish paying out my contract AND get my own handset. Motherfuckers!


Anyway, thanks to a trip to the market, I'm now the proud owner of some black new Ugg boots (not real, obviously) and a new handset - courtesey of Mum (when the home insurance kicks in and I get a proper phone again, I'm selling the new handset and giving Mum the profits). Got dropped off at the gym for a surprisingly-easy-considering-it's-been-three-months-since-I-went workout. Ladies and Gentlemen, I finally discovered endorphins. This has been a feel good weekend!

In the evening, Joe and I went to a nearby pub for some much-needed Sign Language practise (we have ONE lesson between now and our next 2 exams - SHIT!!!) which we ended up ditching after 10 minutes and grabbing some tea instead. Afterwards we went for a long scenic walk through the village and surrounding area - with me acting as a tour guide - and went in a park I haven't entered (or even noticed) since New Year's Eve 1998. The park led us to the church, so on the spur of the moment, I decided to visit Grandad's grave - which was really nice (in that Joe didn't freak out) Felt bad about not having any flowers though, so I de-weeded the gravestone and picked some from the church garden (not too many though - didn't want to risk going to hell!)


Afterwards we went back to the village and sat on a bench, gazing at the fountain and the nearby apartments, discussing the perfect flat, what we'd be happy living with in the future, and what we want out of life (living space-wise) - you know.... deep stuff. It was unbelievably lovely, and despite my twinge of fear about impeding Life and Maturity, I felt so calm and happy, I didn't want to go home.

After he dropped me off, I got a text:

"I really enjoyed tonight - thank you for being you. It's wonderful to be with somebody as great as you"

To reincarnate a phrase from my college days: Fucking DITTO.

P.S: I know, I know. I must sound unbearable. But fuck it, I'm finally happy about something. Took bloody long enough.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: "Music and Me" - Michael Jackson