Troublesome Tuesdays

Dear Diary,



What a strange dichotomy this past few days have been. From on top of the world to the depths of anger and despair within a mere matter of hours. Starting at the beginning:


Monday - was called in for an afternoon shift (I'm gonna be WADDED after all this) which was completely dead, for a change. Not that I'm complaining, it's wonderful to sit on your arse and read the paper, engage in banter and pour the occasional pint - whilst getting paid for it. It's the tips that usually suffer. Somedays I don't even break the £3 barrier. Le sigh.


As it was Shaun's birthday on Sunday (he LOVED his presents!) we were off for a meal after work, so got changed in the loos (which is starting to feel like a pattern) and picked up by parents. Accompanied by Damien and Amy, a friend (not girlfriend) of Shaun's, we went to the Lowry Designer Outlet ("where eeeeeeeeeeeeeelse can you get it all?") to sample a new Bella Italia that had just opened. It was absolutely incredible. Under the guise of asking about job vacancies, I sneakily passed a cake to the gorgeous Scouse manager, which he later brought over to the table, demanding the entire restaurant sing Happy Birthday. In ITALIEN. (Which, for those interested, is "Tanti Auguri a te") Slight sticky moment when the waiter told them all to sing it to John (ah, Scousers) but it was fun. Shaun was pleasantly embarrassed, and Amy and I shared a dessert called "The Godfather." I'm sure you can guess what it was like - we practically had to be rolled home.

Tuesday - started so well, and slowly descended into madness. But I'm getting ahead of myself. After another boring nondescript day, I met Joe after work, all the better to squeeze in some last minute Sign Language practice before Thursday's exam. We went to a tiny underground student-y bar he hadn't been in since before he moved to Czech, practised for a while, and got a Subway tea. But the weird bit was on the way home. As we sat on the tram, nearing my stop, all I could think was that I didn't want to leave him. I contemplated just staying on, all the way to his, and ignoring my shift and the consequent fallout. Naturally, reason provailed, but as I was getting off, I felt a strange aching sensation....... combined with genuine sadness as I waved at him through the window. It was weird, like I physically missed him - after only leaving him a mere few seconds ago. Yikes. Is THAT what love feels like?


Sat grumpily at work, developing a cold, and stewing over Pat's jibes, as usual. Thankfully it was quite a busy shift, due to the Bingo, I suppose. I received a lot of texts from Joe, and then, rather alarmingly, one from Marie, (who I hadn't seen since the aggressive-friend incident a few weeks back):


"Hey hun, how r u? Working 2nite?"
"Not bad, nice busy shift. How's everything?"
"Had a bottle of wine. Might come visit u in a bit - he just dumped me by txt"


WHAT???! Naturally, I was furious, and told her to come as soon as possible. I mean, how downright low and cowardly a thing is that to do to someone? At least have the balls to say it to her face! The twat.

Spent the evening trying to balance talking to Marie and looking like I was busy working everytime the Landlady appeared, but thankfully her friend Steve showed up soon after. I've met him before, and he's very nice, but the trouble was he seemed to be inching closer to her every time I walked by. And there was the old arm round the waist. Yikes. Even after I'd arranged with Marie for her to come stay at mine, he seemed to have designs of his own. Ugh. Not stereotyping here, but how come a lot of the men I've encountered or heard of seem so keen on hitting on you, when you've only just been dumped? Or even whilst you're still WITH someone? Hmph....... He gave me a "don't worry, I have a car, I will make sure she gets back to mine safely" look, I gave him a "you so much as DARE try getting her into your bed and I will cut you up and leave you in buckets" look.

Eventually Marie (despite all my massive objections) decided to let him take her home. Sigh. I love her to bits, but shit, sometimes she just doesn't learn. Anyhow, I told her to text me when she got home safe.
I got home, had a lovely phone call with Joe, and got into my PJs. And that's when it happened.

My phone rang, it was Marie. Gasping, sobbing and generally incoherent, she was alone somewhere, walking home. Which, can I point out, is fucking MILES from my village, especially in massive heels. Couldn't get anything out of her, apart from the fact that she'd had a huge arguement with Steve and got out the car, leaving him to drive beside her making sure she was safe, until she told him to fuck off and leave her alone. So, I was left to throw my clothes on, leave a note and use my last tenner to jump a taxi and go find her.

Eventually caught up with her, waiting outside a pub near hers. She sobbed on my shoulder, refusing to tell me anything other than "a group of lads were yelling at me." She didn't say anything else, but Christ, I hope it wasn't the unthinkable. No matter what I asked though, she wouldn't tell me. Eventually stopped asking, but wished there was something I could do. What CAN you do in this situation apart from just be there?

Back at hers, it was pretty awful. One of her friends from Drama was there, as she'd called him in desperation too. We took her into the kitchen and put a cup of tea in her hands, but all she would do was stare into space, answering in monosyllables. It was pretty awkward to be honest, none of us knew what to say, and I couldn't even make an innapropriate joke, as I normally would do. The lad eventually left at 3am (having work in the morning) so Marie and I sat on the sofa for ages in silence, her head on my shoulder. Her mum came down three times but Marie just told her to go away and refused to say anything.

Around 4am she finally decided sleep was a good idea. It was horrible - I was madly tired and ready to fall asleep every 5 seconds, but she was shivering and sniffing a lot, so I stayed awake as long as possible to comfort her. Turns out I didn't need to.

About half 4, her phone rang. Guess who it was? Her ex. Her stupid, ignorant, just-dumped-her-this-very-evening-by-text, pestering ex, claiming "his head was all over the place" and he "felt like shit." All him-him-him, basically. Marie listened quietly as he ranted on and on, only interjecting with one-word replies, as I practically ground my teeth into stumps, sitting on my hands so as not to grab the phone and smash it. Even when she told him she'd been attacked, he asked about it for about 20 seconds and then continued to justify why he'd chucked her, the cunt. She hung up 3 times, and every time he rang her back, begging her to go and see him. At 4:30am. I lay there, furiously mouthing and shaking my head, but to no avail.

And that is how, at 5am, after I'd spent a tenner in a taxi going to help her, she somehow found enough money to get a taxi to her ex-boyfriend's (who'd just dumped her) house, leaving me, the only friend who'd ran to her aid at 2 in the morning, alone in her house with her mum and brother.

Now is it just me, or is that......? Oh, you know what, I'm not going to stew about it. How can I, when something bad happened to my friend? I'm not angry at her. But I do think that was a slightly stupid thing to do. The only reason I would go see an ex after that would be to kick him in the hairy plums and spit in his eye.

Today - I woke up in my clothes after 2 hours sleep. Marie's mum, god love her, gave me lift home, as it was near my area. Felt awful at not being able to tell her what happened, but she didn't press. She dropped me off outside Morrisons, where I bought a Subway and jumped a bus home. Spent all day watching films under a duvet, feeling like shit, and texting Marie every hour or so (to no reply). Finally caught up on sleep in the afternoon, before heading off to a completely dead shift at the pub this evening.
Still no reply from Marie. Well, no satisfactory one anyway. Simply said: "Still at his, got some sleep."

No "thank you," or anything. I know, I'm a bad person for expecting one, but still..........

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: shattered
Current Music: "Stairway to heaven" - Led Zeppelin