Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Literally!!!

Dear Diary,

Dearie me, dear diary. What a LOT of recapping I have to get through!! Such are the perils of leaving it so long, I suppose.

Well I GUESS I should pick up where I left off - poised, trembling and excited, on the brink of Christmas Eve. Town was virtually buzzing, as I headed to meet and Joe and co. for drinks. Nothing to write home about really - my dress was complimented a LOT, it was great to see his friends again, I got quite drunk and had my photo taken with a group of lads dressed as turkeys. Matt headed off for Midnight Mass and soon after Joe put me in a taxi.

Christmas Day - Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! Being a family of traditions, we had the good old woken-up-by-brother-jumping-on-bed before going downstairs to open our stockings. Which, obviously, is now a bit of a tongue-in-cheek joke, a metaphor, basically, for Mum and Dad's presents. Anyway, soon after we munched bacon and egg butties before getting ready to visit the godparents (again, the uncle of which inevitably snuck me a triple vodka when I asked for a single).

I'll be honest - I love the O'Donnell Christmas Day Traditions, I fucking love them. Stocking, breakfast, visit to godparents, home for present loading, off to Christmas Day location. Exactly the same every year, and consistantly brilliant. But sometimes, traditions, although supposed to stay the same, can sometimes improve with a minor addition. And that's why it was such a brilliant feeling seeing Joe pull up outside as we were loading the car with presents, and adding his own bin bag to the pile.

Well, what to say? We were at Auntie and Dan's this year, and the food was phenomenal. Obviously we had the old (crackers, terrible jokes) mixed with the new (lobsters and squid for starters) - and the family, I'm staggeringly proud to say, did everything to make Joe incredibly welcome, god love them. Even if it did mean Grandma insisting on sitting next to him and nudging him everytime she told a joke (because nudging makes your hearing louder, evidently).

Funny Story: Grandma nearly didn't make it this year, thanks to the country-stopping but incredibly stunning White Christmas we received. After a tearful phone call from her on Christmas Eve ("I can't make it over love, it's the snow, I can't even make it down the drive. You'll have to miss me out...."), Mum and Dad unanimously decided "bollocks to that," drove all the way out to her house and straight to the rescue, armed with a whole tank of petrol and a sledge to tow her down the drive.

Funny Christmas Day Quote:

Grandma: (*offering cracker*) "Would you like to pull a cracker, Joe?"
Joe: (*looking at me*) "I already have!"
Dan: "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!"
Me: "Awwwww!"
Shaun and Mum: (*fake vomitting noises*)

Anyhow, after lunch, Joe joined Shaun, Auntie and yours truly for another grand tradition - setting the presents out where everyone was sitting. Half an hour and a big pile of paper later, and we were a very chuffed group of people.

Best Presents:

Ipod docking station (Mum and Dad) - YESSSSS!!! Been after one for AGES.
Links charm bracelet (Mum and Dad) - Apparently a huge make. Feel v. guilty but thrilled
Frankie Boyle's autobiography (Joe) - The introduction alone had me pissing myself in Waterstones
Jigsaw toy model (Joe) - A little "inside joke," he said. I do love them Saw films!
Family Guy Season 8 DVD (Shaun) - Freakin' SWEET!
Glittery Michael Jackson t-shirt (Auntie)
Swarovski Crystal Star Christmas Tree decoration (Grandma)

Afterwards we lay in a slightly drunken slump, occasionally looking at presents or listening to a little Joe vs. Family minor not-really-meant-at-all tiff: "You shouldn't have got me presents!" "Yeah, well you shouldn't have got US presents!" Eventually, we went home, Shaun went to work, and me, Mum, Dad and Joe fell asleep watching "Blackadder" repeats.

Despite being forbidden by Mum (HOW old am I again??!!) I snuck in to share a few minutes squashed up with Joe, who was to have my bed for the night. Have you ever tried to share a single bed between 2 people? Don't. It's bloody uncomfortable, no matter how "romantic" it may seem. Still, we faked sleep when Mum came upstairs, and had to physically restrain our "drilling the road" laughing shoulders everytime Mum blew her nose (it sounds like a foghorn, even through the wall).

NEW YEAR: New Year's Eve was simply AMAZING. In case I didn't explain - we (i.e: my and many other families - all friends of Mum and Dad's and Shaun's football team) spent it in a charming cabin up in the Lake District, basking in the shadow of about 16 snow-covered mountains. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Following a late night (shift at the pub) Joe - who was, of course, invited - came to pick me up and slept over at ours. The family had already headed up earlier that day, so had the house to ourselves.

Next morning (New Year's Eve) came way too soon as Joe rudely decided to wake me up at 7 (SEVEN!!! The drive only took 2 hours, why so motherfenkin' EARLY??!) to set off. 2 hours later, and we were stuck halfway up the most perilously icy hill known to MANKIND, with some dickheads in cars blocking the way, Joe swearing his head off in frustration, and the cabin, tantalisingly visible at the top of the hill. Luckily, thanks to the sheer willpower of Joe's little Saab, we made it, not only zooming up the hill but bagging the best parking spot (ie: right in front of the front door). Good times!

After sausage and egg butties (a known remedy for waking up yours truly) we were dragged off for a "fun walk." Actually, I say that in sarcasm, but it was pretty breathtaking - walking through huge snow covered mountains, almost completely untouched. Made it halfway up as well! Joe went on ahead to the top (well, he IS an outdoors type!) as Mum and I breathlessly made our way back to the cabin from the halfway point. On the way back, I scratched little arrows (for when the others headed back) and my initials into the snow with my walking stick. When Joe found me later, back at the cabin curled up in my pyjamas, he told me he'd put his own initials, plus a heart, next to mine. Awww! Wonder if they're still up there? It has been an unfeasibly cold December.......

After a good bout of everyone lazing about and cuddling up for a few hours (me reading the 4th Twilight book, Joe watching Shaun and his mates play table tennis) the New Year celebrations were underway. Well, you know how it goes, the drinks, the partying, the table tennis tournaments. Joe for some reason kept going outside for some alone time - which naturally made me paranoid no end. Was he enjoying himself? Did he want to be elsewhere? Did he find meeting the giant influx of friends, family, and friends of family too much? Hmmm..... Most likely he just wanted to get away from the constant shrieking to gaze on the snowy splendour of the valley view before the cabin - which, to be fair, was one of the most gorgeous things ever.

Still, midnight rolled around. We drank champagne with unfolding sugar roses fizzing at the bottom, worked our way round the "kissing" circle, sang Auld Lang Syne and danced for a bit (an event in itself as Joe NEVER dances). What I WASN'T expecting was when we went to bed, hoping for a sleepless night (if you catch my drift) and literally getting one. Due to my incredibly masterful and cunning plan, Joe and I were to be sleeping on a double bed (well, 2 singles pushed together) behind a curtain in the main lounge, away from other people, and free to do whatever we wanted. What I DIDN'T count on were Shaun and his mates staying in the kitchen, playing music at full volume and running around for 3 HOURS after everyone else retired. I lay there miserably in the dark as Joe angrily muttered about going home the next day, as he couldn't lose anymore sleep.

And just for a moment, despite lying in the arms of a man I loved, in the snowy mountains, surrounded by family and friends, I wished that I could be with someone who was just a whole lot less sensitive and quick-tempered about things sometimes. And then I realised I should count my blessings, shut the hell up, and go to sleep.

The next day we all went for walks, pub lunches and all that. We climbed up and down the longest, iciest hills known to man, had a "sausage fest" for tea, and spent the evening playing Trivial Pursuit, Joe secretly using Sign Language from the men's team to tell me the answers. We both moved into the spare beds in the Mums/Dads rooms and finally got decent night's sleeps.

The next day we all drove home - me hanging out the window taking photos of the perilously icy road to offer the Landlady as proof, should I get back late for work (I didn't).

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

On a side note, can I just point out how simply and utterly super-fucking-wonderful the 4th Twilight book "Breaking Dawn" is? Couldn't put it down all weekend. Shockingly graphic pregnancy storyline, thoughts from Jacob's point of view, the breathtaking moment when Bella finally becomes a vampire, the adorable (although stupidly named) Renesmee? Pure. Gold. I mean, yeah, the ending and the final face-off with the Volturi was the biggest anti-climax EVER, but still. I cannot WAIT for the film. They'd better not cock it up.

Anyway, Happy New Year everyone!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx