Confusion afoot.....

Dear Diary,

Yesterday and today I pondered several things:

Do you REALLY need a permit to work in France if you already live in the E.U and just want a waitress job?

Is there REALLY an amount of drink large/strong enough to turn a gay man straight for a night? (Or just 10 minutes....)

Will I EVER get 1000 songs on my Ipod?

Until I leave the country, will things EVER get better?

Will Tori Amos EVER stop being mind-blowingly fantastic?

Is there EVER a possibility of me getting Michael Jackson tickets?

HAVE I lost weight???

WHY, after getting nothing good for months (oh, you know what I mean!) am I suddenly inundated with chat off one particular flame?

And WHY, if he wants to do me as much as he says, and is the one with a job and a student loan, have we not gone to a motherfricking HOTEL yet???!


Ahem. An innutitive person would say I had quite a...... pondrous day yesterday. I jest. It wasn't THAT bad, but as I'm sure you know by now - I have a habit of dramatising and attempting to make things more interesting than they actually are. I'll start at the beginning:

Fed up of my scruffy joggers and battered trainers, Mum dragged me off shopping for new ones. Christ, it's like being in Primary school all over again. However, upon entering the shop, my face lit up as I discovered 3 items of clothing that I not only was CERTAIN I needed, but also could not fully contemplate living my life without. An 80's style off-one-shoulder top, some "Ass jeans" (dark blue and tight to boot) and a 50's sailor-girl dress, knee-length, black, in at the hips, flared at the bottom, black and white 80's-esque stripes on the top. And my GOD, they were fine. Ever search your whole life (or maybe just a few months) for that ONE dress you have in mind? You know what I'm talking about - THE. DRESS. Yeah.....
Tried it on, and instantly my boobs were bigger, my stomach and waist were smaller, and my legs were longer. All for £12. Mum was damn near speechless when she saw it. Not to mention the Ass Jeans, which gave me the bum of a 15 year-old. Hallelujah!! Was silently panicking about how I was going to justify NOT buying everything (as I could only spare £20 to bring with me) I loved the look of - but in a fit of inexplicable generosity, Mum decided to treat me. I actually fainted inside. Outwardly, I shouted a highly censored version of "FUCK, YES!!!!"

So, came home with 80's top, THE DRESS, pair of joggers, trainers, ass-jeans, pair of leggins and a Cheryl Cole-esque bright pink clutch bag. Not bad, considering I only spent £19! Feel slightly guilty though..... have a feeling Mum knows I'm not entirely secure, financially..... Oh well. NEW CLOTHES!!! Tried everything on back home, prompting the question "Have I REALLY lost weight....?"

Went to the gym straight after and got a promise from Stephanie that she would draw me up a diet plan, free of charge. I'm starting to seriously love that girl.
Did some more research into France, although, when you really look into things, it doesn't look that easy, especially the getting-work part. And the cost. As a child, I never really put much thought into how much holidays actually COST. And this, among many other varied reasons, is why I don't want to grow up. Because you have to learn stuff like this, and do things for yourself. Grrrrr........

Tried half-arsedly to find MJ tickets online, still no luck. Unless I find, seduce and marry a squillionaire, VERY quickly..... They're now offering Hospitality Packages where you get a champagne and red carpet reception, tickets to the afterparty, etc... etc... for £750. JESUS!!! First of all - a gig is a gig. We are ALL walking into the same arena, a little bit of material from your car to the door isn't that necessary. Second - champagne gives headaches. If you're going to take that road, why not just buy some cheap Cava and a fruity liqeur from the local Tesco Metro? I can do a MEAN Kir Royale. Third - I guarantee you won't find a more fun afterparty than the one's taking place at the local pubs/people's flats. £750?? What, is Michael himself going to TURN UP?? IS HE??! Well, no, he's not. Because Ticketmaster told me. So what are you REALLY paying for, you rich bastards? Hmmmm?? Exactly.

Excited text from Kyle - would you believe it, Tori Amos is releasing her 10TH ALBUM! Can the woman do ANY wrong? It's called "Abnormally Attracted to Sin," which sounds sexily dangerous. And NO cracks about it sounding like my life, please..... Hehe.
Anyway, he's emailed me the first song that's been leaked out, which is called "Welcome to England" and is pretty goddamn gorgeous. How I've missed her sweet, sweet tones! Welcome back, Tori.
Still haven't worked last Friday out in my head, although I'm not thinking about it quite so much anymore. It's not like this has NEVER happened...... it just never went this far, before. I've looked at this from every angle, and I just can't fathom it. Even if he just wanted an experimental (not to mention fucking mental) play-around, that doesn't explain why he got hard. Does this mean he's bisexual? Or was it the drink? I know I should just stop thinking about things and go with the flow, but I'm just so baffled by the whole escapade. Hmmm....

Oh shit, I've got to get ready for work. I didn't even get to tell you about the latest Gary conversation.... not that it was any different from usual. Oh well, I'll be back later! It's a sweet, sunny evening, I'm wearing my lovely new clothes and I'm walking to work. Feeling more positive today!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: "Welcome to England" - Tori Amos. Mmmmm.......