Dear Diary,
You wanna know something? I hate bananas. I absolutely hate them with body and soul. THOSE FUCKING WANKING TWATTING COCKING YELLOW BASTARDS!!! I hope the island of St. Lucia sinks into the sea so they can never produce those vile abominations and sell them to the world EVER AGAIN!!
Ahem. Rant over.
As you may or may not have gathered Day 4 of the dread diet is by far and away the worst. And by an extrordinary coincidence, Day 4 was today. As it is Thursday. Needless to say, I was NOT having a good time. The diet sheet simply states - "Eat up to 8 bananas and as much skimmed milk as possible". BULL. SHIT. I have no idea why ANYONE would want to eat 8 of those slimy, vile, ropey things - I managed 2, and even then the 2nd one was bolted down and nearly made me throw it back up. At least I managed the milk. Eurrrrgh. Grrrr... Definately the worst day.
Oh my god though. I am PROPER looking forward to tomorrow. It's gonna be a fantastic day, I know that much!
Today wasn't THAT bad. Yeah, the food was pretty goddawful, but I walked into the village and back for an Optician's appointment, which was all good. Ordered a sexy new pair of glasses (since I've had current pair 5 YEARS) they're even THICKER, black and square with a zebra print on the inside - the sort that look kinda lesbian-ish, but in a really cool way.
Had an absolutely EPIC "Lost"-fest, which was pretty sweet. And it REALLY makes a lot more sense when you watch every episode in order, one after the other! Although found myself suddenly getting the hots for bearded men - particularly Desmond and Faraday. Hmmmm...... Maybe it's the undercurrent of manliness, or unkempt-ness of living on an island. Or maybe because it reminded me subconciously of David, who - at last Facebook photo-check - was developing increasing amounts of scratch. Hmmm. Mmmmmm. Unfortunately then I kept drifting off into sexy, stubble-on-neck-filled daydreams and had to continuously rewind the bits I missed. Damn him getting in my head like that. I can only hope I'm having the same affect on him (which I most likely won't be. Grrr.)
Had my extra shift again tonight. Not much to report, except I once again didn't crack. I took an apple in to munch on, got another shift for next week...... oh and Pat still isn't speaking to me. What a wanker. He was finishing his pint when I started my shift, and then ACTUALLY ASKED his mate to buy the next round while he went to the loo, just so I couldn't serve him. How ridiculously pathetic. Oh wait, it gets better! I went to get a simple glass of water from the sink near him, and would you believe it.....? HE TURNED HIS BACK ON ME. Not even in a humorous, jokey, Mighty Boosh kind of way. He just looked at me, turned, and faced the other way. What a prick. Who said this shite ended in the high school playground, eh? Fucking limp-dick, bitter, dried up old bastard. It's not my fault I'm not a butt-ugly alcoholic motherfucker and still have sex.
Jesus. That place really brings out the nasty bitch in me.
Ah well, Bring on Day 5!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: "Weapon of choice" - Fatboy Slim
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