Indecent Proposal

Dear Diary,

Well I'm stumped. Completely and utterly. I believe I've just had a real-life Indecent Proposal. It's a little alarming how my life is becoming increasingly similar to something you might see on an episode of "Sex and the City." Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all - it's just...... strange. Especially given that 5 years ago I never thought this kinda thing would happen to me.

To put it bluntly, David (surely you know him by now: lovely grown-up Southerner off my course who I slept with twice - once whilst pissed - who then got engaged and now isn't) has made me a proposal. Of the indecent variety. In the middle of another little online conversation, he, in the most blunt way possible, asked me if I fancied being "fuck buddys". See for yourself:


David
Do you have anywhere we can go if I came to visit your lovely city this weekend?
Kat
why....?
David
If I'm free, you wanna meet up?
Have a, erm, cuddle?
Kat
"cuddle"? how quaint :p
David
Meaning, fancy fucking each other senseless?
Kat
why not
haha
David
Okay
So if I am free
Meet you in town
Go for a drink or two then back to a hotel?
Kat
what u in town for, anyway? visiting friends?
David
Yeah I suppose
You count as a friend
Kat
oh, I see..... lol :)
David
Has been longer than I would like since I had sex
And we clearly want each other
Kat
clearly ;)
David
Way I see it:
We are close enough for it to be cheap to meet up and spend a night together
Fancy being fuck buddies for a bit?

Well, one thing you can say about him - he doesn't beat around the bush. Literally, as well - he's rather skilled..... (*reminisces*) Although I feel quite ashamed that upon reading these words, I didn't frown with indignation on behalf of feminism, but froze in my seat, blushing madly and making little excited squeaking noises.

Kat
that's got to be the oddest proposition I've ever had
but fuck it, why not
Noel..... Deal!
David
Okay look, if you're not totally comfy with it it's cool
Kat
and I cant ACTUALLY believe I just said that, lol
David
But we both like sex, and we both don't get as much as we would like

Speak for yourself! Well, before January and 3 weeks ago, anyway....... And P.S: Who DOESN'T like sex? Can you imagine that? "I'm 32, I like long walks, going to the movies, and lots of sex" "Oh, I'm not that keen on sex myself - guess we're not compatible after all!"

Kat
David, I am not REMOTELY uncomfortable with it. its cool!
David
Okay good
Just as long as we clear on the lines
We're just mates who fuck
Kat
lol, this is officially the most bizarre conversation iv ever had - and its ok, u dont havta read the rulebook out to me, I know how it works :p
David
Okay
Just don't want it getting "complicated"
Kat
not at all!
David
And would prefer to keep it to hotels, just cuz, well, I think my mates would ask questions that would be hard to answer
Kat
fair point
David
and I think cuz we have had sex before, my roomate would be wondering if we were getting serious
Kat
wow.... lol
David
And trying to explain we're seeing each other mainly for sex wouldn't really be my favourite conversation ever
Just don't want to come off as if I am using you for sex
Kat
but..... you are!
David
Which I suppose in a way I would be, but it's not so bad if you're doing the same!
Kat
True....
David
Besides, sex aside, sometimes it's nice to just have a cuddle
Kat
Omg, yes
Lol, ur just a big softie under all the dirty talk
David
I know

Oh. My. God. The cuddling!!!! How could I forget? David, which I may have mentioned countless entries back, is the Number One UEFA Cup-holding Champion of Cuddlers. If I remember rightly, about 5 seconds of spooning from him had me shaking more than 30 minutes of foreplay off anyone else. Oh dear Lord. And to think I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never again experience that breath-taking-ness with him. And now I will be. Someone up there clearly likes me. Or it's Karma, finally paying me back for the heart-breaking ex and constant unemployment.

Anyway, coming back to David - he then just went on to explain the "Fuck Buddy Rules" - which I knew anyway. Hello? A) I read Belle de Jour, and B) Fuck Buddy rules are common knowledge. Well, by that I mean I know them. But I'd have thought it was fairly obvious anyway (don't fall for your fuck buddy, do nothing the other is uncomfortable with and discuss everything first). If not, it should be taught on the national curriculum.
So we talked about it for ages, going over the ins and outs and ups and downs. I must say, even just TALKING about it got me a little excited..... this is probably the most grown-up thing that's ever happened to me! And it was TOTALLY on my Things to do before I'm 30 list (I've GOT to write that down one day.....).

He did bring one thing up though - the possibility of going "bareback" with each other (as long as I'm on the Pill and we use protection if we sleep with anyone else) as it feels much better, apparently. Now, I totally believe that, but nontheless, my first instinct was to shout "FUCK NO!!!" and back the hell away - as it's my number one principle/rule after that little scare I had. But the more I thought about it, the more it got me thinking (there's a redundant sentence if ever there was one). Almost everyone I know is on the Pill - and they seem to be getting along fine. And yes, I've heard horror stories and side effects etc.... but again, they all seem to be coping. And if it really works.....

If I went on it, that would sure save a LOT of worrying. I mean, obviously I'd still wear condoms with strangers (I'm not a COMPLETE idiot) but - as David pointed out - as long as we both got cleared STD-wise first, there wouldn't be a problem if we were to go without with each other. And in compliance with Rule 3: Talk frequently - if we sleep with anyone else we HAVE to let the other know, especially if it was unprotected. It's definately worth looking into - my friends have LONG been telling me I should consider the Pill. I'll ask at my appointment next Tuesday (I had to cancel and rearrange it due to coming on - having swab test done in the middle of "Lady-Time" is something too gross for me to even BEGIN thinking about).

So we're agreed on one thing - strictly condoms to begin with. And do you know what's cool? (Other than the water in a swimming pool)? Even if I decide NOT to go on the Pill (although it's seeming more attractive the more I think about it) - he's still cool with using protection. That's what I like about him, he's so laid back and brilliant at putting you at ease. This could be fun!! I certainly kept getting excited the more we discussed it. Even him setting down RULES was a turn-on!

DAVID'S FUCK BUDDY RULES: (as agreed with by Kat)

1. Don't fall for each other - if any feeling start developing, you must tell the other person STRAIGHT away - Makes sense. And yes, some may say that I'm diving into the lions jaws, given how crazy I am about him..... But once I'm having sex with him, I'll probably realise it was only ever about that all along. I'm very good at confusing Lust for Love.
2. Don't do ANYTHING the other person is uncomfortable with - Be it a certain kink, idea or thought, if the other person doesn't like it, they must say. And not do. It's about having a good time, not complying simply for the sake of appeasing the other.
3. Talk frequently - In compliance with Rules 1 and 2. Whether you're falling for each other, madly uncomfortably at the thought of being spanked, have your eye on a threesome candidate or have slept with someone else - you must DISCUSS IT. Then it stops things getting complicated.

I love how I'm saying all this as if I actually know what I'm talking about......

4. Experiment like crazy - This will mostly be taking place in hotels. Therefore - lack of inhibitions. And you also get to try out the things you always wanted to try, without the awkwardness (as it's all about just having a good time with each other). But again - if an idea is too much for you - just say. Par example: David loved the idea of making a "Home Movie." I told him I'd kill him and shove the camera up his jacksie if he ever tried. Because once it's out there - who the hell KNOWS who might see it? (And if anything else, I'd want to get a few stone off and wear a face-covering mask first)

He didn't bring these up, but I've found some other pretty good rules here
And of course, the wonderful Belle de Jour's

So yeah. I'm feeling strangely excited. I mean, the whole thing feels so grown-up and illicit. Not to mention we'd both be getting what we wanted. Me in particular, as he's the best I've ever (blah blah blah.....) and have been dying for a repeat performance. And obviously, with his sudden accquisition of a fiancee a few months ago, I was quite despairing it would never happen again. Obviously, I'm sorry it didn't work out for them and all..... Actually, fuck it, I can't really say that, given all the bitching I did - it would make me a lying hypocrite. I'm not sorry he's single again, and I'm not sorry I'll once again get to sample his amazing-ness on a regular, mutually-assured basis, when I thought I never would. In fact, I'm over the moon. But I AM sorry if she was hurt by it. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But if, like he says, it was a mutual understanding, then I don't feel too bad. Does that make me a bad person??

Anyhow, it's all sorted, signed, sealed and, well..... waiting to be delivered, I guess. Got a late text after the conversation ended:

"So you're definately cool with this? I suspect you're beaming right now, but not sure...."

He knows me so well. Or he knows how stupidly girlish I go around him because he always knows exactly what to say

"Don't worry, I'm completely cool with it. And you were right - I was totally beaming"

I'm such a cretin. But more importantly - I'm a FUCK BUDDY CRETIN!! Shit, if he IS coming over this Saturday I'd better be prepared. There's some black nail varnish, new razors and root re-growth hair dye in Superdrug with my NAME on them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: stupidly excited

Current Music: "Justify my love" - Madonna