An Officer and a Barmaid

Dear Diary,

Well bugger me. You could knock me over with a feather..... and then pick me up and use me as a draft excluder. You literally will not BELIEVE what happened last night. I still don't fully believe it happened. The whole thing was just..... well, unbelievable. Yes, I know, I'm making little to no sense. I guess, as always, I should start at the beginning:

So, as you may remember - at last count, things with Joe/Team Ginger were thus: we'd been for countless after-class drinks, and an official date last Saturday. Which ended with us STUPIDLY getting very drunk, going back to his, and engaging in some awkward and terrible kissing/fumbling, in which I fretted over my lack of bodily and mental response - followed by an embarrassingly hungover and awkward lift home the next morning. He then rang me in Liverpool on Monday to ask me for a meal on Friday. Following so far? Smashing!

Anyhow, last night (Thursday) I was called into work as emergency cover, so therefore had to skip Deaf class. Which a heavy heart, I texted Joe to let him know -as we were supposed to be arranging our Friday date. He asked where I worked and where I wanted to eat on Friday.... we made idle chit-chat. So, imagine my surprise at half 9 when I looked up to see him walking through the door! I literally felt my heart fail. I was stood there in a Hello Kitty t-shirt and joggers, with no make-up and my hair scraped back - not to mention I'd spent all week desperately analysing my worrying lack of physical manifestation of feelings for him, and fretting to my friends. And he was now walking through the door at work.

We chattered away for a while, I served him non-alcoholic drinks and tried to fend off the Landlady (who was plying me with wink-nudge-"who's he, then?"-looks) by chatting to the regulars. But it soon came out - the real reason he was there. Apparently I left something at his house last Saturday..... but he didn't want to give it me in front of the other punters "in case it embarrasses you." So naturally, I was panicking. What did I leave behind? My knickers? Impossible. A jonny? Nah, he'd just keep it. The mini-vibe I always carry with me? No, I didn't even use it. Well, WHAT?? I kept asking him, desperate to be put out of my misery, whilst he skillfully refused.

At some point (about 2 minutes after Last Orders finished), I lost all patience. There was only one punter left in the lounge and I was fed up of being told to "guess" what it was. So I told him to give it back to me, or I'd bar him (I can be a real charmer sometimes). So, at his request, I shut my eyes and held my hands out. I heard a lot of crinkling, and felt a light but large wrapped package being placed into my open palms.

HE GAVE ME FLOWERS.

FLOWERS!!! Joe drove all the way down from Deaf Class in town, to find out where I worked and give me a bunch of flowers!! I mean, WHAT?? I'm not remotely complaining, I'm just trying to figure out at what point my life got swapped with someone else's! Stuff like this NEVER happens to me, and was undoubtedly the most romantic gesture I'd ever been made. I stood there with my mouth gracefully hanging open, emitting strange squeaks , whilst he explained they were by way of apology for last week's awkwardness. He swore he wasn't "that guy," he was just scared of being drunk under the table by a girl (we had a bet) and over-compensated.... causing the bad performance and awkward morning after. He said he felt terrible for falling asleep while I lay there awake and wanted to make it up to me .....and prove he wasn't the kind of guy who took a girl home and then forgot her.

And that's when everything I've secretly been thinking for the last week disappeared. I swore I wouldn't get too close to him, I didn't want to fall for him, or go out with him. Stupid really, my plan was to just wing it and see what happened - whilst constantly keeping him at arm's length so I couldn't end up liking him and getting hurt by a guy again. Aaron effectively fucked up my sense of trust, and I hate him for it. But that didn't make me stop being wary, and wanting to protect myself at all costs.
But then I looked across the bar at Joe, I looked down at the beautiful bunch of purple and white roses, carnations and stargazer lillies..... I forgot I had an entire bar to clean and the owners watching me in the two-way mirror - and promptly flew out from behind the bar and hugged the life out of him. I was so happy I actually choked up slightly.

As a little parting gift he admitted he'd come with another agenda - to get a quick kiss off me. Keeping an eye on the vault throught the 2-way mirror, I quickly pulled him into the nearest corridor (the remaining punter discreetly ignored us) and kissed him against the wall. And despite only being a few seconds long...... Ladies and Gentlemen, thus arrived The Spark. The physical reaction I'd been waiting for - brief in length but welcome in appearance. Thank goodness - I was starting to think I was a robot! We had to move pretty quickly, as that particular corridor led to the Gents and the Smoking area - but I waved him off, and we sorted a meeting time for our 2nd date. I flapped around the bar, gazing in silent disbelief at my flowers and dancing joyfully around the tables as I cleaned them. The tables, not the flowers.

In a fit of glee, I decided to stay for an after-hours drink with the owners. Well, naturally, Landlady saw everything that happened, as did, apparently, most of the punters in the Vault. Goddamn mirror. Before I could even begin to apologise for chatting on the job, she smiled, and gave me a pint of cider she'd just pulled. She said the two of us had completely restored her faith in romance, and if that didn't deserve a drink "on the house," she didn't know what DID. Aw! They quizzed me about him, both beaming at my giddy excitement and admiring the flowers - Landlady comparing my flight from behind the bar to something akin to "An Officer and a Gentleman." Apparently as I swept him into a hug, she was waiting for Joe to lift me off my feet and swing me round. HA!! I'd like to see him attempt it......

So there you have it. I've been given flowers. By a man. Who likes me. Who gave me my first "romantic film" moment and I'm going out with tonight! This is literally incredible, it's like something off TV. This isn't my life. In fact, I'm still wondering who swapped it..... The flowers were placed in pride position on my hastily-tidied desk. Fuck hayfever - a man has brought me flowers! All I can say is: "Thank You, Universe. I'm sorry I ever doubted."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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