Kat the Rampant Gym Bunny

Dear Diary,

Sweet Lord on a treadmill. You will literally not BELIEVE what I did yesterday. Mum's friend had saved me some tokens from the paper that give you free membership at the local gym for a MONTH. Now, normally, I'd laugh my arse off, thank said friend (secretly think "What are you insinuating?"), put the tokens in a drawer and think "Fuck THAT!" But for some mad and insane reason, this time I decided to bloody well follow something through for once. So, I printed off the membership card and went along with Mum.

Oh my god. It was AMAZING!! Not as big as some gyms, but there's SO MUCH to do. Met a lovely receptionist called Stephanie who said not to worry, everyone's at different levels of fitness in here and she'd show me around etc... Unfortunately, whilst I was in the middle of being reassured, there was an unnaturally Madonna-esque woman walking around with abs like a frigging WASHBOARD, so that made me feel good, of course. Anyway, decided there and then to go back that very evening to try it out, ease myself in, no pressure.....

Well, 2 hours later, there I was - in my joggers, a Guinness t-shirt and Mum's trainers (didn't think Converse were appropriate to work out in somehow) being shown around by Stephanie. Eventually dumped my stuff in a locker and got going. And it. Was. Fantastic. Felt less scared and self-concious than I thought I would, due to most of the women NOT being the stick-thin terrifying gym bunnies I expected, but normal women like me, just trying to lose some weight and get fit. Not to mention the men. Dear LAWD. Even those that weren't that attractive were somehow still attractive. Such is the power of muscles! And that's coming from somehow who likes skinny blokes, normally (*drifts into David Tennant-filled daydream*).

YESTERDAY AT THE GYM I:

• Went on the Pedometer
• Did that weird thing where you pull weights in towards yourself with your arms and increase the pecs (I think)
• Went on the "Sexualiser" (OK, it's not really called that) - that thing where you push weights away from yourself using your thighs alone, so your legs are continuously open and you feel constantly undignified.
• Went on the rowing machine (which was surprisingly relaxing after the bloody weight-lifting equipment)
• Went on two cycling machines. Although I only went on the 2nd one after I cracked my knee on the 1st and then got the seat stuck trying to move it back
• Eye-humped the SHIT out of all the cute lads - in particular the one whose eye I kept catching whilst on the bike in front of his treadmill. Although I think the only reason he kept smiling was due to all the weird facial expressions I was making everytime I cracked my knee/wiped off sweat/grimaced/tripped over my joggers/etc...

So, I stayed for 2 hours (despite Stephanie saying I should only attempt 45 minutes on my first day) and had an absolute BALL listening to my Ipod - which definately helped me establish a rhythm. Hugged Mum to DEATH when she picked me up, thanking her over and over again for putting the idea in my head. Definately going every day, if possible.

Went out for usual Monday night jaunt with Marie, although I arrived 3 hours late due to Shaun webcam/calling us online, which was cool, if not a MASSIVE delay. He's doing great, anyway, if the photos are anything to go by. Night out was..... hmmm..... Once again Marie was like a broken record, mentioning her Twattish Boyfriend every single oppurtunity she physically could. I have NO problem being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to lend, but she really is starting to get a little bit incredibly annoying now. Ah well, we ordered a pizza and watched "Castaway" back at hers, so it could've gone a lot worse, really. Although I woke up this morning with my boobs, shoulders and pecs absolutely MURDERING me. The pain is so extreme, I can barely lift my arms. Hmmm..... No weight-lifting for a while, methinks......

Anyway, I'm off, going to the gym later. Wow, look at me, saying that like a totally normal person! Maybe things are looking up! Maybe by some miracle I'll actually go thin and get fit and healthy after all, and just be like the rest of the gym-going population! It could be my THING! I could say things like "I'll be round at 8, I've got to go to the gym!" This is BRILLIANT!!! Maybe now things will fall into place! Maybe everything's going to be alright after all!

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Current Mood: ridiculously optimistic

Current Music: "Shine" - Take That