More revelations.....

Dear Diary,

What: A CONVERSATION BETWEEN ME AND GARY:
Location: MY LOUNGE
Time: QUARTER TO MIDNIGHT
Conclusion: EXTREME RELIEF WITH A SMATTERING OF HORNINESS


Gary
Hey, how are you?
Kat
Hey! Yeah, not so bad. Hows urself?
Gary
Im not too bad thanks.... you do know which gaz this is dont you? Lol
Kat
Oh, fuck you!! Lol, I am so embarrassed about that. Not to mention it makes me look really bad.
Gary
Haha.... people will start to think you have a Gaz fetish
Kat
Shit, how many people you told? And are you telling me you've NEVER got drunk and had two peopl in ur phone with the same name?
Gary
Yes i have..... but it turned into favourable circumstances
Kat
Well bully for you! All I'm left with is a sense of extreme embarrassment and looking like an absolute ho with an Alan Partridge fetish
Gary
Hahahaha - at first I thought u were genuinely joking
Kat
Lol, I fricking wish
Gary
So what you going to Oxford for?
Kat
Oh I'm visitng a mate who goes to uni there..... proper excited
Gary
Treat.... I've never been to oxford is it any good?
Kat
Well, I wont know till tomorrow! Lol. How're things in liverpool?
Gary
Nay bad cheers... I've got a part time job so its good im actually earning a bit of money for a change!
Kat
Nice!
Gary
You still working in that pub?
Kat
"Nay bad"? hahaha, you adorable welsh lad
Gary
It's true..... I am adorable
Kat
Yeah.... it sucks balls, especially since my hours have been cut from 8 a week.... TO 4. Fucking recession!! So im fucked, really. Need another job ASAP but nobody wants to hire anymore
Gary
That sucks.... I dont think I could survive on 8 hours let alone 4!
Kat
I know. Now u know why I'm completely skint. Otherwise I'd be over in liverpool every single week, partaying down!
Gary
Lol no one seems to go out much anymore
Kat
Well, we're all gettin old, etc....
Gary
Lol I did quite well on Saturday, I was up till 7 am
Kat
Although that is OF COURSE no excuse! Blimey, cant remember the last time i had a good all-nighter (*reminisces*)
Gary
Oh, it wasnt all drinking :P
Kat
Oh aye? So u got laid on Saturday then? ;)
Gary
Perhaps
Kat
Anyone i know?
Gary
Nope
Kat
Wow.... dont give everything away, will you? It's embarrassing!!
Gary
Lol, you have seen her i think but thats it
Kat
Oooh, who?!
Gary
I'm not saying coz she has a boyfriend
Kat
OUCH. Damn, you dont half get embroiled with innapropriate people, do you? It's that welsh charm, no mere woman can resist!
Gary
Lol, I like a challenge
Kat
Even though one of your challenges has lost me 3 friends? Lol
Gary
You lost yourself 3 friends, I had nothing to do with it
Kat
I know, I know..... I wasnt accusing. Do they ever say anything about me?
Gary
Nope. I dont think so anyway
Kat
Wow. Ouch. I want to get in touch and apologise, but im terrified of getting my head kicked in
Gary
Lol, I'm sure you wouldn't
Kat
No, I really would..... I've heard some of Zara's sotries about people she's fought
Gary
Why though?
Kat
Well..... come on, I betrayed her trust, did something she's been explicitly warning me for MONTHS not to do, and (apparently) broke their sink
Gary
I dont understand why she warned you off me.
Kat
Well... think about it, you're her ex. Friends should never fancy friend's exes, its a universal law
Gary
Woah woah woah..... I don't get that
Kat
Well..... I dont know, weren't you childhood friends as well? And then you went out (correct me if im wrong, i dont know the details)
Gary
I've only known her since high school, and we did not go out
Kat
Eh? what? But..... I thought you did!
Gary
Nope. Never
Kat
But.... why.... would she say that? I'M CONFUSED!
Gary
I bet she didn't, you just got confused
Kat
Or maybe she DIDNT say that - but I just assumed you had cos of all the times we've been out and she's just come out with "Don't get off with him"
Gary
Lol she knows I'm trouble, haha
Kat
In what way....?
Gary
Lol as in a sex pest kinda way
Kat
Are you a drug dealer? Do you fuck women over? Or do you murder fellow cricketers? Wait.... sex pest? Omg, what the hell is wrong with that?
Gary
All of the above :P
Kat
Hahahahaha! So what if you're a sex pest? She clearly doesnt know me very well - even if she were trying to protect me, I'm sure I could've handled it, lol
Gary
I've got loads of paracetemol in my cupboard..... I fuck women over the table and murder cricketers when I play
Kat
(*falls off chair laughing*) You crack me up
Gary
Why thank you
Kat
So......... all this time I felt bad for thinking I was flirting with a mate's ex, and it turns out she's just been trying to protect me from your rampant ways all along??
Gary
It would seem that way yes
Kat
Oh shit. Hang on a tick - all these months I've been sick with guilt about fucking a mate over and getting off with her ex at a party - AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN HER EX??!! So all I have to feel guilty about was the FUCKING BROKEN SINK??!!
Gary
Indeed
Kat
Wha... but.... omg, I'm so baffled I dont know who I am or where I live anymore.....
Gary
Lol, that confusing is it?
Kat
No.... I just feel incredibly wrong-footed. I've spent all that time thinking I'm a shit friend and a heartless bitch, and it turns out all I did was break property!! That can be fixed with money! So I HAVEN'T lost a friend over matters of the heart!
Gary
Aye
Kat
Oh thank FUCK. OH MY GOD!!! IM SO PLEASED!!! (*dances around the lounge*)
Gary
Haha
Kat
But..... GARY!!! Do you realise what this means!!!!?? All this time!! I've been really guilty and angry at myself and feeling evil.... and.... Omg, I'm so happy I can't be coherent anymore!
Gary
Haha
Kat
Omg, I'm not a total shit after all! I'm just a normal human being who broke a sink and NOT a friend's heart! I'm so chuffed I'm actually bouncing. Now I dont even feel guilty about having those photos on my phone! Which still make me go a bit girly incidentally, haha
Gary
Lol, oh god now I'M ebarrassed
Kat
Why? I've not shown them anyone! And trust me.... I wouldnt be embarrassed, I'd be kinda proud, lol.
Gary
Lol nice use of proud there
Kat
Omg, I didnt mean that (*hides head in hands*) OK.... VERY proud!
Gary
Lol
Kat
Like they make me VERY happy when I look at them..... hehe
Gary
I'm glad they have that effect
Kat
Haha
Gary
I deleted yours cos you told me to, but they made me very Proud when I had them
Kat
Well, there was more of a chance of Zara actually seeing them, being that your in the same city and all. And thank you! Hahahaha
Gary
You're very welcome
Kat
Still, shame you dont have them anymore
Gary
Indeed.... I'd have had many a happy time with them
Kat
Indeed. If I was any kind of decent person, I'd send them again......
Gary
Indeed you would :p
Kat
Hmmmm...... I DO have my phone next to me.... and I dont want to be accused of not being a decent person..... it might stop me getting a mortgage....
Gary
Indeed you do not, haha
Kat
Well, since my arm is being twisted....
Gary
Haha, make sure you send them to the right Gaz!
Kat
Well I wouldn't worry bout that, he's lost his phone apparently..... Got it?
Gary
Oooh cheeky :P
Kat
I'm afraid the sheep PJs detract from the sexiness a little.... lol
Gary
Lol.... I am Welsh remember
Kat
Ah.... so if anything.... I've made things worse! Or better, lol
Gary
Lol ;)
Kat
So you lost ALL the photos, did you say?
Gary
Indeed...... Ooh hello, another one. Nice!
Kat
Glad you approve ;)
Gary
:P
Kat
Right, since you've brought me the best news of my life tonight, I'll give you one more....
Gary
Oooooh..... I look forward to it. Aww just one!?
Kat
You had two before! You're just being greedy now :p
Gary
Dont want to be accused of being a bad person do you?
Kat
Ooooh, you manipulative bastard
Gary
:O
Kat
(*shakes fist*)
Gary
Lol shake it
Kat
I have to catch an early coach tomoro, I have no time to be setting up camera phones to take nekkid photos! (*shakes it like a polaroid picture*)
Gary
Haha..... oooh I like it
Kat
I should technically be in bed right now. So to bed I shall go.....taking my two boobs with me, lol. But before I go.....
Gary
Hello......
Kat
Was just wondering....
Gary
Yes......?
Kat
What is a Macbook?
Gary
Sorry?
Kat
Your status..... it says you have a Macbook
Gary
Oh...... an apple laptop
Kat
Nice! Well, night then! Sweet dreams, etc....
Gary
Night night thanks for the pic. And sweet dreams to you too
Kat
It's OK, you just havta reciprocate next time
Gary
Lol, oh I will
Kat
Look forward to it. Ta ra! xxxxxxxxxxx


Maybe not the SEXIEST sign off in the world - "Ta-ra" but who the fuck cares??!! BECAUSE I'M NOT A COMPLETE CUNT AFTER ALL!!! They never went out!! She was only trying to protect me!! And she doesn't even have to, because I don't care about having a relationship with him!! I don't care about him just wanting to get into my pants!! All I have to feel sorry for is the sink!! And the slight immorality of getting sexy in someone else's house..... but STILL!!!
I'M NOT A BITCH OR A HEARTBREAKER!!! HURRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

And I'm going to Oxford in an hour! This is the best day EVER!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: "Ride on time" Black Box (perfect for dancing round in a celebratory manner)