Hello Optimism, Goodbye Cat

Dear Diary,


Last week I had the most incredible revelation. Or rather, it was had FOR me. By one Miss Rhonda Byrne, author of "The Secret." Having had this book pressed upon me by a uni friend, I last read it several years ago, and haven't gone back to it since. But for some reason, today, I just decided that enough was enough. I hadn't heard back from the hotel, I hadn't heard back from Data Entry, I was fed up of feeling negative all the time (because let's be honest, it doesn't really seem to help) and wanted a change. So I read the book again.

To say I'd seen the light was an understatement. I was literally BATHED in it. Suddenly, so much more made sense. I can't really be bothered typing out the whole message right now, just take £12 down to the nearest Waterstones or visit the website. Needless to say, I came away feeling empowered, optimistic, and most of all - happy. It all comes from you thinking, and attracting things to you with the power of your thoughts. Thinking, constantly thinking...... and never once imagining the "what ifs," or negative aspects. If you want something, you have to think and act as if you already have it. Looking for a partner? Clear some space in your wardrobe for his clothes. Want more money? Add a few extra zeros on your bank statement and stick it up on the wall. The book and the website outline the rules more clearly then I, obviously.

Of course, I'm aware that I sound like a raving, wide-eyed loon. But put it this way - after 2 whole days of thinking about nothing but getting more money, I put the Lottery on and bought a scratchcard, both for the first time in 6 years........ and won £20. Straight after that, I picked up the phone, called the estate agents and requested a viewing on the dream flat Joe and I found online the other day. It's arranged for my birthday morning. Things are DEFINATELY looking up!

Having said that, it was pretty awful last Tuesday. Whilst at work on one of my recent extra shifts (yes yes yes!!!) I got FOUR missed calls off Joe - slightly disturbing, as he never rings when I'm working. Long story short - his cat had to be put down. The poor guy was completely cut up - and truth be told, I had tears brimming as I reluctantly went back to pulling pints. It may seem daft and a bit of an over-reaction, but this was a cat with Character. He'd been with Joe's family for 15 years, been his best friend through hard times at school, you get the drift. Hell, he'd even learnt how to sit, talk (well, make noises) and roll over on command. How many cats can do that??! Not to mention he was damned cute, and had the most adorable habit of popping up on the roof.

Landlady eventually sussed something was up from the look on my face, and told me she'd let Joe in after Last Orders, if he wanted to come up for a drink. So he did. Red-eyed and quiet, he raised a small whiskey to the cat's memory, as I choked up to the point of explosion and attempted to wash drip trays.

Rather worryingly, he hasn't been sleeping well since it happened. Have tried everything to help, but who wants to hear someone wittering on about counting sheep when you're coming to terms with a death? And haven't even THOUGHT about sex - it's proving difficult enough getting a smile out of him, let alone trying to make him feel sexy whilst desperately trying to ignore the elephant (or dead cat) in the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current Mood: torn between optimism and despair
Current Music: "Fight for this love" - Cheryl Cole