List of crazyness

Dear Diary,

So for some reason I am in a huge strop at the moment, thinking of all the things I could be accomplishing right now, and all the things I haven't. I want to do completely mental shit, however mundane or "out there" - that people will either remember, laugh at, or at the very least say "What the FUCK?" about. Maybe it's something to do with nearly being quarter of a century old, or being in a sensible comitted relationship with a slightly older bloke. Either way, I feel like rebelling slightly, and remembering all the weird crazy things I've been up to during my time on Earth so far - things that may be weird but make me strangely proud (in a way that suggests I'm not as boring as I think I am). So here goes:

CRAZY THINGS I HAVE DONE THAT OTHER PEOPLE POSSIBLY HAVEN'T (OR MOST LIKELY HAVE) DONE:

I HAVE:

Had a threesome
Taken a train to another city under a false pretext, purely to stalk someone
Smoked weed
Done sexual things with a gay friend
Written/directed a play
Used an alias
Snorted tequila off a spoon
Tried to break up a lesbian fight and accidentally gotten punched in the chin
Got so drunk I was found huddled with a strange lad under an umbrella and a coat on a pavement in the Gay Village, pretending to be an "art installation"
Had sex in a public place
Got drunk before 11am
Swallowed a magnet
Groped Kamal from Big Brother's fake breasts (sober, one afternoon)
Got off my tits in Amsterdam
Slept with someone over 40
Wandered around a supermarket in high heels
Lay on my back in some Welsh woods in the pitch black at midnight (ok, it was part of a writing class exercise)
Met and chatted to the producers of the "Saw" films
Drank champagne and eaten lobster in the Hilton
Sang on Radio 4
Slept with a woman
Drank a pint compiled entirely of the following ingredients: Barcardi, Vodka, Sambuca, Tequila, Brandy, Jack Daniels, Glava, and Gin.
Sold dildos professionally
Been bought pizza by Michael Jackson (as part of a crowd, but still......)
Had a stalker
Visited Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France, Germany, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Prague, Switzerland, Amsterdam, Oxford, London, Newcastle, Edinburgh, and Liverpool.
Streaked across a golf course
Been proposed to atop the Eiffel Tower (as a joke, but still.....!)
Done at least three quarters of the outlandish, whore-ish things work colleagues jokingly accuse me of doing
Eaten 12 easter eggs in a day
Watched porn while someone slept next to me

There's probably more besides, but can't think of anymore right now. To be continued......!!

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