Guess what? I cracked. In more ways than one. I basically did what I swore I wouldn't. I must be the most weak-willed person on the entire planet......
Well, first things first. Had a SEVEN HOUR shift at the pub due to it being the punters' Christmas party. And oh my god, I may have covered myself in tinsel and done my hair and make-up to within an inch of my LIFE - but I was by far the most under-dressed. Landlady was dressed up as Mrs. Santa and looked fantastic - and the other two girls looked amazing. Shift was INCREDIBLY long and arduous, but strangely went quicker than your average four hours. Usual regulars were in, plus about 500 people I've never seen before in my LIFE, but the atmosphere was great.
THE GOOD:
- The buffet. And therein lies the first problem - I broke the rules of my diet. Yes, I ate nothing but orange juice all day so I'd have room. And yes, the staff were allowed to partake of the 4 back-to-back tables on which the buffet was laid. And yes, I did. And you know what? I had an absolute SCRAN of the not-allowed kind - AND I'M NOT EVEN SORRY. Because it was FUCKING AMAZING.
- The tips. We pooled, and got about eleven squid each. SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!
- The music. The resident DJ is a goddamn legend.
- The Christmas cheer. Fuck the credit crunch, everyone was in, having a wicked time, and feeling festive - and that is my FAVOURITE thing about Christmas.
- Landlady being in a good mood again. Nice.
- The kareoke. DAMN there were some horrors last night. There were the usual ones of course, Mum of Little Dickhead slurring (what she seems to think is in a "sexy" way) her way through "These boots are made for walking" and then the ones that were so terrifyingly bad, it made my innards curl up. Little Dickhead sang "Sweet Child of mine" so unfeasibly out of tune, it made me want to put my FIST through his throat and rip out his vocal chords. And anyone who can drunkenly slur their way through and murder "Mustang Sally" so appallingly should be shot.
- How bloody busy it was. To be expected, naturally, but still really makes you want to just stand on the bar and shout "GET THE FUCK OUT!!!"
- Sam, who was on the bar with me. What an annoying bitch. OK, fair enough, she's been working there 2 years, but the amount of times she YELLED at me last night - god DAMN!! She yelled at me to "stop standing around watching people sing and fucking serve someone" (when I was IN FACT looking for whoever was next), she yelled at me for making a mistake on the till (when in fact it was HER mistake - hahahahaha) Biatch.
- Cleaning up afterwards. When all 3 barmaids and the Landlord start yelling "DRINK UP PLEASE!!" why do they STILL not get the goddamn hint and hang around for another 8 years instead??!
- People being mean to you. Look around dear punter, can you not SEE how rushed off our feet we are? We have to QUEUE to use the till, and have about 65 of you pissed-up knobheads to get through - learn from Take That and have a little motherfucking Patience.
- Why, our regular customers, of course. Just for a change, being the same old sleazy fuckers - only this time making Christmas-related come-ons and stepping it up a gear by trying to grab my arse while I clear tables. Same shit, different time of year.
Anyhow. After a humongous clean-up, and a Thank You drink, courtesey of Landlord and Lady (double vodka and orange) I hollered a taxi up to Marie's, changing into my Ann Summers Policewoman outfit in the back seat and grabbing a bottle of wine as I went. Arrived there about half 1 and immediately got stuck into my wine (drinking it straight from the bottle *blush*) and chatting to everyone. Nothing memorable to report really, apart from playing "I never" with all the attractive lads, Marie's ex turning up and everyone calling him a cunt (not, obviously, to his face) while Marie stood with him, both flirting like crazy all night long. Oh, and one...... quite big thing - which takes us back to the first sentence of this entry.
I'm sure you can guess, but I'll tell you anyway - I had random one-night sex again. And it was with a guy I'd barely spoken to all night. I can't even remember his name (*blushes crazily*) or much about him, except that he had hair so long he could nearly sit on it - and quite a sizeable knob. So, at least one good thing about the whole affair, haha! Went to bed about 6 in the morning in Marie's brother's room where he joined me (the lad, that is, not Marie's brother) and jumped into bed, spooning. He wasn't getting the hint for AGES - despite him being the one who started it - until I eventually just rolled over and kissed him. Well, the rest just writes itself really. And, as with almost every other time I've done this - it went on for way too long, he was too wasted to "finish," and I was bored out of my mind the whole way through. And his hair was so long it kept getting in the way and lying across my face (*shudder*). Not to mention the next morning when I had the most insane conversation EVER:
HIM: "Just to clarify - that WAS a random, one-night thing, right?"
ME: (*thinking "What the fuck?"*) Yeah, course!
HIM: "OK, just wanted to check"
ME: (*sarcastically*) "No, actually, I'm gonna find out where you live and come knocking on your door sobbing; 'Why haven't you called me?'"
HIM: (*laughing*) "OK..... but.... you won't really, will you?"
ME: (*Sigh*)
More than anything, I'm pissed off that I did this again, especially when I swore I wouldn't - to myself and my friends. Who, I've just realised, will kill me when they find out. Eek. Especially given that I was, well, not "saving myself," (since it probably won't happen anyway) but certainly thinking of Lee when I decided not to do this bollocks again. You know, in a kind of; "From now on, I'm only waiting for the real thing.... it's got to be-e-e-e-e-e-eeee perfect, etc...." way. And there's that whole "how will you meet the right guy if you're shagging the wrong guys in the meantime?" question. Well, to answer it - it is because I am a tremendous jockstrap, who's only justification is:
1) I was bored
2) I was pissed
I give in. Seriously.
Anyhow..... Must forget such trifling matters. Just got a Seafood Pizza from the take-away. Well, the weekend's practically been a write-off, and parents aren't back from Ireland till half 10 tonight. Might as well take advantage, eh? And if that means sitting on my arse, watching "Spiderman 3" and chasing away my hangover by having the most almighty scran possible, then it looks to be a pretty sweet-arse evening.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Current Mood: Hungover as fook
Current Music: "All summer long" - Kid Rock
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