Sexy Texts

Dear Diary,

(SATURDAY 1ST NOV - Party)

KAT: "Can't believe what just happened! Wish it was still happening though"
GAR: "Me too. We should sort something out. You look so sexy the night"

These texts - and many more which I've sadly deleted were sent somewhere around 4am at the party (Im guessing, couldnt see a clock anywhere) right after our 2nd sexy hands and tongues everywhere - followed by fake puking - session in the bathroom. Give me credit, I was out of my TREE by then!

We spent the next few days continually sending progressively raunchy texts - which I won't type up here as a) It would take literally forever and b) They often do venture into the graphic..... But Dear Lord in a hot dog, it was probably the most sexy texting I'd ever encountered in my life! If I wasn't so incredibly worried about getting caught out, I'd print off the transcript and put it on my wall - as proof that I can sometimes BE SEXY!!!! Although reading it back - it is also proof at times that I can be a colossal berk. Anyway, a few days later, we started all over again , which culminated with him SOMEHOW asking me if I liked it rough. "Do I like it rough?!" OH!! This just gets better and better! People are right - flirting IS like poetry, there's a sort of rhythm that you both know and adhere to, and you both know what each other is gonna say, BUT IT'S STILL EXCITING WHEN THEY DO!!! How have I never LEARNT this before??!! This is AMAZING!!!

Later that night we continued texting and ended up having a photo-off, which basically ran the gamut from him sort-of-a-little-bit having a photo of my left boob, to a full-on phone-sex scenario, in which he promised to do all manner of things to me, the pinnacle of which included "fucking me senseless" and...... well, the one sex-act that I truly hate, which he threatened (I mean, promised) to do to me "for hours".

On a brief note - "...fucking you senseless?" Don't make me laugh. He's not the first guy to promise to do that to me, and since none of them ever actually managed it for more than 10 minutes, let alone enough to make me senseless, I highly doubt it. Still, they say it every time, and expect me to believe they'll make good on this promise. Whatever. But - How AWESOME was that??! My god, look at me, having (albeit slightly one-sided) text sex like a proper human being! This is literally incredible. I should post the transcript to Aaron just to show that I am in fact a sex machine who wasn't worth throwing away - cos now SOMEONE ELSE is getting all my best moves!! Sucka!! Where was I....?

Couldn't help noticing though, that everytime I brought up this forbidden night that almost certainly will never happen despite how much we both want it to, he never replies back. In all fairness, the last time he had just had an orgasm, so most likely fell asleep, but still.... Given that HE'S the one who doesn't seem to have any qualms about it, you think he'd sort something out.... Maybe I should book a room in a hotel in Liverpool, just for one night.... Wonder how much it'd cost for a One bed room, between Two? Hmmm. On the bright side, how fan-fucking-tastic was THAT a note to end on? Especially to someone like me with a bit of a "down there" Complex. Bless him. Obviously, I wouldn't let him do it for minutes, let alone hours, as I'm really not that keen on it, but as they say, it's the thought that counts!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS: GUIDE TO NAUGHTY PICTURES - RECEIVED:

(PICTURE 1) = Outstandingly big cock that made me clutch the sleeping bag and feel faint at the thought of the results my Kegel exercise-inducing Love Eggs had produced....
(PICTURE 2) = Cock from above angle. Shockingly large amount of pubes, must introduce him to a razor before going eye to eye
(PICTURE 3) = Almost exact same photo and angle as Picture 1.
(PICTURE 4) = Gloriously massive cock again (but clearly on the way to the "finish line"). Worrying aside note - seems to have a fuck-load of hair. As in, ridiculous amounts. Maybe can convince him that shaving is sexy? I know. Play the "makes it look bigger" card

PPS: Every tried setting up your camera-phone (wedged between two books on a shelf) on a timer to take raunchy photos of yourself? Don't. It's a bastard.