Top 5 celebrity shags (yes, I AM that bored)

Dear Diary:

MY IDEAL TOP 5 CELEBRITY SHAGS:

1) DAVID TENNANT - For obvious reasons. The man is just so ridiculously good-looking, not to mention the fact that he is SCOTTISH. You know what this means - HE HAS A SCOTTISH ACCENT. He would be in bed with you, saying everything in a SCOTTISH ACCENT. Need I say more? Well I will. Also a fantastic sense of humour (source: Friday Night Project), merged with the fact that he is definately straight, and looks good naked (thank you "Blackpool" and "Casanova") - and we have a Number One spot-holder without shadow of a doubt. We would be stranded on some distant planet (well, the TARDIS floor just looks too damn cold) and we'd only have an hour or so before the Cybermen (WAY scarier than Daleks) came to kill us. And just think of all the sonic screwdriver innuendos you could make. David, I live in hope - call me if you're ever in the NorthWest.

2) RUSSELL BRAND - Again, easy. The man just EXUDES sex. Never mind the fact that I constantly try to convince myself that skinny jeans are NOT sexy on a man - he has the look down to a T. Absolutely gorgeous, a proper Southerner, not to mention one of the most hilarious guys the world of Showbiz has ever seen. Funny is ALWAYS sexy - and he manages to not only combine the two, but wrap them together so tightly, that THEY start having sex of their own accord. What was I talking about.......? Oh yeah. He certainly gives off the impression of being good at it, so you wouldn't even have to try very hard. Yes, you would be one of many - but there are certain people not meant for slow cuddly relationship sex. And once again - the accent.... massive turn-on. Saying all manner of articulate things in his Essex voice, we'd probably be backstage somewhere, or at least at his house (I will never, in this lifetime, be having sex in a toilet)...... although would be taking every precaution in human history - given his reputation. Surely a memorable night, though.

3) JACK BLACK - It's that constant twinkle in his eye - you just get the impression he would be CRAZY in bed. And again - funny guy, so he'd make you giggle with it, not to mention the exciting fact that he would probably get out his guitar afterwards and improvise a song about the magical union you have both partaken in........ with you joining in, before bursting out laughing. Then we'd smoke some weed, talk for ages about how great Led Zeppelin are before having sex another 5 times and writing more humourous weed-fuelled songs about it. And we'd be completely charmed by each other's accents and mannerisms.

4) ANT AND DEC (simultaneously) - I love those guys. They never get old, they never stop being funny, and they never stop being sexy. Again - accent, huge draw, with the fact that they're proper mates and would probably have seen each other naked loads, so it wouldn't be weird. There would be something so exciting and naughty about seeing what two squeaky-clean pre-watershed ex-kids TV presenters are like behind the scenes and between the sheets. They are the only two men I would EVER consider having at once.

5) RICHARD AYOADE - As mentioned in previous entries - I worship the ground this Amazonian man walks on. 6 feet tall, gorgeous skin colouring, handsome, lovely legs and bum, the most fantastic voice Channel 4 has ever aired (barring Matt Berry's) and his astronomical comedic skills. Not someone you would typically think of in the act of coitus, but it's always the quiet ones....... Just think - everything he said would be in THAT VOICE, not to mention the fact that he seems to be hiding an amaaaaaaaaaaaazing body under all those checked shirts and cord trousers.


Those who just missed out on the Top 5:


Matt Berry - With such an erotically splendid voice, you would feel like you were actually IN a porn film. Plus, you get the impression that he would treat you like you were the star in one. Ever seen him in "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace"? Made me want to jump his fictional 80's bones with every episode. He should genuinely be the voice of the Talking Clock, or a Sat Nav. Can you imagine it?! "In THREE seconds, the TIME sponsored by ACCCCCCurist will be..... eLEVen forty-ONE PM!!!" And I have not yet found an advert funnier than the one he did for the Natural Confectionary Company.

(Yes, that was like, 3 links in one paragraph. That is how marvellous his voice is)

Seth Rogen - Has the most contagious chuckle ever, not to mention madly funny and real-seeming. Would probably make you laugh till your sides ached during and then take you for a beer afterwards.

Noel Fielding - Oozes sex appeal, a brilliant accent, and unbelievably eccentric-seeming. Was he ever sexier than when he played goth Richmond in "The IT Crowd"? (PS: That link happens to go to a picture of my ideal sandwich......)

Christopher Eccelston - Dr. Who showed him to be a man of total intensity. Imagine THAT in the bedroom.

Chris Finch - Played gay nurse Carl in Coronation Street years ago. Never before have I fancied a Corrie character as madly as him (apart from Liam Connor and Steve McDonald). Ridiculously attractive, lovely bemused half-smile, quality actor....... and I once saw him pose for a calender with nothing but a boxing glove covering his bits. Oh. My. God.

Justin Lee-Collins - I go crazy over a West Country accent. Namely his. One of the most side-spiltting presenters out there, a gigantic MANE of hair, and the fact that he looks like one of the best huggers on the planet. And if that weren't enough, his performance in this made me want to marry him.


So, to summarise, my turn-ons are basically a cracking accent and a sense of humour. Which I probably could've worked out without making a list. But that's just not as much fun, is it?


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Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: "Here come the girls" - Sugababes